Challenges

Do you know what challenges me about blogging? Besides spelling, that's a given. Those stupid wiggly letters to confirm your comments to a post! My glasses cost more than $400 for just the lenses. The extra light trifocal progressives with no lines in them. Regular glasses look like coke bottle bottoms for me and they break my nose. Now my eyes are changing again and I'm back to switching glasses and wearing my reading glasses for up close stuff. It's the pits when I go somewhere and realize that my distance vision is fuzzy because I forgot to switch back to my regular glasses. These wiggly weird letter combinations with double consonants and z's and x's drive me batty. The other day I was visiting "Because I Said So", you know Dawn that gets like 250 comments a post. It's like she's another Beth Moore or something. I got the first post, number one, numero uno; and guess what? I must've messed up the stinkin eye test because my comment got lost, zip nada nothin. Well maybe she deleted it, but probably not. Nope it was the wiggly stupid letters. Who thought of that stuff?

Marksmanship

Words. So much of our understanding or lack of it is based on our interpretation of words. I was thinking today about Oprah and her new guru. Oprah thinks the answer is within us. I think the answer is where God says it is, with Him. Why do some people insist that we are good? They have issues with the word "sin" or the word "good'.

The word sin actually means to miss the mark, in reference to a target. Doesn't that seem more acceptable? Who doesn't miss the mark daily? Who doesn't wish they would have been more patient, kinder, less irritable, more understanding, a better budget keeper, a wiser mother, and on into infinity. I know that I miss the mark frequently. Why is missing the mark called sin? Why is that the definition of sin? Sin has emotional connotations of negativity, and nobodies perfect right?

God the creator of this universe is perfect. He is good. He is love. He sets the standard or the target of perfection and it is, what only He can do. That is why the scripture says, "There is no one good, no not one". That can just flat out stick in some folks craw. They think, "I am too good, I would give an old lady my seat on the bus, I was a girl scout, I support our troops. Whatever your idea of goodness is, are you flawless at it? Is your record in that area of your own definition absolutely and totally perfect? I know I am not. Jesus came for the sick not the well. He hung out with the local street people and prostitutes. He didn't hang with the traditional church folks and they killed him for it. He was too revolutionary, too unorthodox, and he irritated them to no end. The religious elite of Jesus day assumed they had all the answers. Their God was in a nice neat little box of convention, custom, and tradition, so much so that when God made himself flesh they didn't see Him. What about us? Where do we fit in? Would we see God if He showed up? Would we hear him if he spoke? Would we do what He asked us to do?

Really I have been thinking about this. Aren't you glad you were not Noah? Think about it. We talk about how bad the world is and carry on, blah blah blah. In Noah's day he was the only one who followed after God. No one else in the world believed, just Noah and his family. That's one enormous obstacle, talk about being a maverick. Next up, it had never rained before. The Earth had a kind of dew every day. That's two pretty big obstacles. Here you are in the middle of dry land and God tells you to build an ark and that it's going to rain and flood the Earth. Alrighty then, what's rain? What's an ark? Talk about a crisis of belief.

People lived to be much older then, and Noah actually worked for 120 years as a ship builder on dry land, not near any large body of water, and was constantly ridiculed for his activity. You have to give him credit for perseverance. It also makes him very believable that when it was all over and they finally landed, he planted a vineyard and got drunk. Who wouldn't? Talk about a traumatic experience. Be careful about those self righteous thoughts. No one in our lifetime has experienced a stress of that magnitude.

That's what I like about the Bible. At first glance we think it's a book of super heroes. When you look close up the super heroes are super sheep. They all made stupid mistakes. They all have warts. Some have big serious offenses like murdering somebody. David wasn't the only one who killed a man, Moses did too. Then Jesus comes along and says if you have even thought it in your heart you are guilty as if it is a done deed. Ever felt road rage? Ever wanted to wring your husbands neck for another inconsiderate comment? OK your better than me, you don't think about doing your husband in, not even giving him a swift kick.

I know Jesus came for me, I knew I was sick, and full of flaws, full of mistakes, full of regrets. Full up to bursting. When the message came through the darkness, that I could have a clean slate and a new start; the dam broke. I couldn't stop weeping. How could it be? How could there be a God that would really know everything about me and love me?

Most of us go around presenting the face we want everyone to see. We polish it. We work on our presentation that is for the public and our friends. Not many of us let others see us how we really are, or let them in on our hidden secrets. But God,... not only sees and knows all of that, but there is nothing in us that He has not seen or doesn't know. You might feel naked under His gaze, because you are. It is out of his great love that He offers to clothe you, and wash you. To give you a new heart of flesh that is now stone. Don't need it? Not stony? Are you sure? Have you no dead relationships? No regrets? No, if only's? I mean really, am I the only person who still remembers being mean to Billy in the third grade? I don't know if Billy ever forgot but I didn't. Partly because he never came back to school. I never got to say I was sorry. I was his only friend. It really didn't matter that a bunch of kids ganged up on me and kicked me because I was his friend and he was a Mexican. It didn't matter that I caved to third grade peer pressure and told Billy, "you stink". I can still see him walking away with his head hanging. Me yelling, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry". I was crying but Billy didn't look back. Gee that was in the third grade you know how much stuff came after that? Do you think forgiveness is good news?

God doesn't offer us a consequence free, new pie in the sky deal. He gives us peace. He gives us insight. He gives us the ability to walk through our present circumstances with a different perspective. You may never get more income. You may never get well. You may never get married or have a long wanted child. Your life and situation may actually get worse not better.
Aren't you glad that I'm sugar coating this? Actually there is way too much sugar and false hootenanny out there. It's not about me, it's not about my inner self, my realizations, and I am so grateful that it's not! Even if, "I am always on my mind". I am not on your mind and the world really doesn't revolve around me. Shucks, that's a disappointment to you I'm sure. We are flawed, hopelessly imperfect. We are never going to get it right. You see all religions are about man trying to rescue himself and do something to right his sinking ship. Jesus reaches out with His gift of his own life. He offers to restore yours. You don't work towards anything. You say yes. That's why we are called the "bride" of Christ. When you get that proposal of marriage it's a yes or a no. We don't earn our husbands. We work pretty hard after the, I do, but it starts with a yes. It starts with love, with a relationship, with spending time together. That is what God wants. It really is that easy. He wants to know you, and for you to know Him. HE wants to spend time with you. He's available every minute to even your thoughts. He wants to rescue you from your worst enemy,...uh hum. He wants you to experience His presence and His love. It is the honest to God best news we have ever heard or ever shared. So how about you, do you know, that you know, for sure, know Him? Do you remember the moment that you met? When your heart first opened, and your ears first heard? If you aren't sure, would you like to be? Just write me. I'm just a beggar sharing where I found the bread, and it's delicious.

A Big Mess- Decisions Decisions

Well I'm in deep weeds. I decided to try and redo my outdated kitchens wall paper. Stripping it was necessary because there was more than one layer. Unfortunately the contractor who built this house put the first wall paper up on the sheet rock without any prep. I now have to mud, sand, and prime, and work work work. My friend is coming Monday so I put everything back for now. I'm trying to figure out if I'm going to paint it or paper it. It all started with some wallpaper that I found at Hudson's salvage for $1.99 a double roll. It's a really pretty soft applegreen/lime in a more contemporary pattern. Now that the walls need so much work it doesn't seem to make any sense to put more paper up. My kitchen is on the small side so there really aren't a lot of walls to work on. I'd like to tile my back splash areas. We went to ceramics last week and I painted a square door knob, if it turns out cute I may do enough for all the cabinets.

Ya'll can help if you'd like, whatcha think? This patch of color is some paint I got at Lowe's for $5. It's brighter than in the photo. I tried to get a pic of the wallppaper and it just ain't happening. The paint color is brighter in real life and less brown. Anyone want to suggest something?

My dishes are all different colors. I have some blue and yellow pottery and also the Franciscan Apple. I have been thinking about a red and cream combination but my floor and counter top are in the brown tones, which is why a terra cotta color might be pretty. I'm going to paint the space above the cabinets with the white that is on them. Now you know, I don't spend all my time blogging after all.

Blog Hoppin and Back Packin

I have only been blogging for a couple of months but my TV is collecting dust. I don't watch anything anymore. I realized that all my evenings are spent reading, writing, and hopping around finding cool blogs. I am also realizing that I cannot list every blog I like on my favorites list.

One of my most favorites is "Kathy's Dusty Trails" she is a vet and just reading about her cabin and life up in the Sierra's makes me feel so good. After all I am a native born Californian. Eight years in the south have messed up the way I talk, but pictures of California's rugged mountains stir my heart. I loved the Felton redwoods. When my daughter was little we went on several back backing trips into Mammoth. There is a wonderful hot springs spot called "Ida Bell Hot Springs" in that park. Devils Post Pile, and Rainbow Falls are there close by too. Ida Bell found a campers paradise. It isn't too bad of a hike either except for 1 and 1/2 miles of switchback trails that go straight down. I can still remember the entire trail.

We started from a base camp where they have a little eattin joint that makes a great homemade hamburger. After piggin out and loading up our packs we headed out. The first part of the trip is all down hill through shady forest and lush with ferns and soft redwood chipped earth. About mid morning when it began to get warmer we started moving up and out of the shade into some granite country. As we hiked along the edges of one mountain our first views of wide open mountain country emerged. The beauty and the silence are breath taking. I had the good fortune of being with an avid mountain climber and back packer who knew this country well. We left the trial for a bit and scooted sideways down some steep granite rocks. Hidden from view was an amazing little waterfall and rock pool. It held freezing cold water, good for a drink and to rest feet in, but way to cold for me to swim. I'm not that brave. I'm actually feeling the hike quite a bit not being a big out doors type, but the beauty is propelling me along. The country changes frequently and the diversity impresses me. We are moving through a grove of aspen trees and they seem to be winking at us with their twinkling leaves, and they play with the light, the effect is enchanting.

By midday I was really feeling the weight of my pack and wondering what the heck was so important to bring along besides food and water. Packing light was taking on a whole new meaning. I was wishing that I would've listened better. All my gear is new, this being my first trip and we are hiking 8 miles today and 4 the next. It's hot, I have stopped talking and started working and breathing. My body has never experienced this much sweat in it's lifetime' but it's so beautiful. It was a good thing that I had youth on my side because I didn't exercise much other than dancing, and this was a workout! Just when I thought I couldn't take another step we turned the corner of the mountain and looked down on Fish Creek. It was in the bottom of the canyon, we we're on the top. Between us and the place we would camp was a straight down steep trail of switchbacks. I had never heard of switch backs. My feet were in for the biggest pounding of my life. I didn't even think about coming back out. It was hard enough going down. Finally at dusk we took our packs off next to this beautiful river. It's really not a creek. I perched on top of a nice granite rock and relaxed in the water. Every muscle in my body had worked to exhaustion, and I was hungry. A steak would've been great, but we were back packing and we we're having freeze dried astronaut stuff. Yuk, but with a work out like that no one is gourmet, or picky, it's about fuel. I don't even remember falling asleep. The next morning I was so stiff, no one even suggested stretching out, what a bunch of dummies. It didn't take too long to walk before the kinks got worked out. This half day walk along the river was mostly just hiking, the view didn't change up like the first day, and I concentrated on the work. When we entered a meadow full of wild flowers blooming I thought I was in heaven. " This is it" said our guide. We had arrived. We were facing a mountain side and I could see a waterfall. "That's the cold water", and over next to it a warm water fall, hot and cold water. Impressive! What you could not see until you passed it was the hot spring pool. A deep sulfur smelling but clear to the bottom pool of hot water. After all that hiking and sweating and sore achy muscles it was paradise. I soaked for hours, coming out long enough to eat and then get back in. I soaked until my fingers shrivelled up into wrinkly prunes. When it got dark I saw the stars for the first time in my life. We don't really see stars in the city. The sky was jam packed full of them. I saw the Milky Way and the Big Dipper, the Little Dipper, and we had the good fortune of having a full moon. It was a spectacular trip. A little like boot camp but wonderful. I felt strong and light when I got home again.

I did not become an avid back packer. I made a few more trips, oddly to the same place. Knowing what was waiting for me was motivation enough to take those switchbacks going down and going up. It's surprising to discover that down hill is harder. I also found out I didn't like hiking boots, running shoes worked much better for me. I finally hung them from a tree and wished somebody a nice find. A hundred dollar pair of Pivetta hiking boots. It wasn't worth it to carry them out, and I didn't want them. My second trip I packed much lighter. If I ever go back again I'll ride a pack mule.

Piglets Pooch

Piglet has her own dog. He lived next door tied up for three years and had always wanted to be our dog. When he escaped he'd run like a rabbit and then come over here. She fell in love with him and begged our neighbors to give him to her. They really didn't spend time with him. He was just a yard dog. It took him about a year to really become a great dog. He's very smart. He potty trained ASAP. We believe he is an English Shepherd. As you can see he is quite content and very loved. He even gets to sleep in the bed with Piglet. His name is Axel Indiana.
One of their favorite activities is to go skateboarding. Piglet has a harness for him and
she holds on with both hands to his back.
Then she squats and rides the board with him basically
acting as a "sled dog". They both get a work out.

Sirens

Another storm coming batton down the hatches. Good thing I have a couple picchas of the yard it may get blown to smithereens. The Mississippi River is thinking about flooding out in Vicksberg. My girlfriend from Cali is flying today! She's going to see her sister first and will be her on the 14th. Wow we just saw alligators leaving the river on TV now that's freaky.

Fat Bottomed Girls on Grits

When I stepped outside this morning I couldn't believe what had happened overnight. I really do have a spring garden. Little by little I have added the different perennials for each season. A large bed in back has mostly summer and late summer plants. The front beds are predominantly spring. Even though that tell tale black spot is raising it's ugly head already, the first flush is the best one. Since some of you are snow bound and still cold, I'm sharing not bragging. When you are just right I will be in sweltering heat. All of my gardening is done in two binges, spring and fall. I was more resilient to the heat when we first came here. I also wasn't packing around all this extra fat. Food is good here and fattening. Being a good Baptist there seems to always be a foodie function to attend and even if you just taste each thing, you've eaten a platter. The first time I ever tried FRIED dill pickles, I couldn't believe it. That just sounds so nasty, but,... it's great. I decided then and there that in the south fried cardboard would be good. Don't get me wrong I do not fry food at home. I do not make rich gooey desserts unless we are having guests. I try to fix healthy meals. However my bo hiney is a walking advertisement for fat bottomed girls on grits.

No longer! Up early and out for a long walk and an interval run. I cheated. I walked up a small long hill to get a burn going and then ran down the other side. I had both dogs slightly pulling and the hill for momentum. WHATEVER it takes! So I trotted along for my first block and man all the jelly was shaking everywhere. Jam don't shake like that. I like working up a sweat, it feels so good when you stop! Yoga is tonight to stretch out whatever tightened up.

May I abruptly change this discussion? My study about "Knowing God" is really phenomenal. The study today was mind blowing because it challenged a "set" of beliefs I have had. It also was so true it immediately banished those ideas. Truth is like that, it just cuts to the quick when it's heard. Whammo, no debate. He presented 4 concepts today.

• God uniquely spoke to His people.
• They knew it was God.
• They understood what he said.
• When God spoke it was an encounter with God.

Moses didn't say when he saw the burning bush, "this happened to my dad and my uncle now this is my experience." No, there was only one burning bush. Moses heard exactly what God wanted and that is why he argued so much. Noah knew what kind of ark to build, the exact dimensions, and what kind of wood. Jesus sent his disciples out with exact instructions. God is very precise.

How did we come up with this open door, closed door hit or miss idea? If I'm going the right way then let me proceed, if it's wrong shut the door. Sounds like a crap shoot. Blackaby says this, "Often people trust these ways because they appear to be easier than cultivating an intimate walk with God". Ouch. Whoops. I am a doer not a waiter. I'm a talker not a listener. I want what I want not to yield to another plan,....whoa wait a minute. How quickly the mighty have fallen. If God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, which is what He says in His book, then He is still specific and He is still speaking. If He is in a still small voice and I am going ninety to nothing working out my day and the LISTS for the day, where is the still small voice?

Would we stand up a great date? Would we leave our husbands or children, or even girlfriends just hanging? Then why do I treat God like that? If I mess up and don't spend time with God I just berate myself for it, do my penance. God doesn't want that, He wants me to show up.

Blackaby suggests,"God may withhold directions to cause you to seek Him more intently. Don't try to skip the relationship to start doing something. Wait and pray". Zing again. I am a type A personality to the max. When there is a problem my first response is, "What can I do?, How and I help"? My first response is not to sit at the feet of Jesus like Mary. I would be whippin up the fantabolous meal in the kitchen. Cleanin house and giving Jesus the best seat so someone else could visit with Him. After all this time I'm still doing the same dumb things,, baaaaahhhh.

My husband says this quote, I'm not sure who said it first, "Insanity is doing things the same way and expecting different results". Alright. I'm getting the message, in order to hear God I am going to have to go about life a bit differently. "Be still and know that I am God." It's not about religion, or a code of conduct, or a set of behaviors, or the way I dress. It's about relationship. An intimate loving relationship takes time, takes listening. I'm glad for all these walks and soon to be runs. God can be with me while I am out there. Pounding the pavement tends to drum out the noise of life. Maybe then I will hear. Speak Lord your servant is listening.