Just Life

I woke up at 7:15 this morning. HELLLOOOO it's Saturday and I had my heart set on sleeping in; you call that sleeping in? So I stayed in bed, with my laptop, until after 10.

Reading makes me think. That's why we read isn't it? To get the cobwebs out of our heads, and off of ourselves; and into the world of ideas.

I was thinking about the world as we know it, the election, and the economy. I was wishing I could live somewhere "cheaper" where my income would magically eliminate my need for an 8 to 5 job. 5 days of a 7 day week is a whole lot of living to give for money. I really am grateful to have a job don't get me wrong. The question is more one of lifestyle and spending. I could live in some places in this country on my hunny's little check. But we are not there, wherever "there" is. "There" is like "they", it's a mythical imaginary someplace and someone. We are here.
We live like we do, we spend too much, we waste our time. We are just like everybody else, getting up every day and going through the schedules that are in motion.

So what do we do with this one life that we have to live? I used to dream of big things. Big like running an orphanage or being like Mother Teresa. You know heroic ideas of achieving great things. Little by little God has been teaching me differently. It's about the little daily things.
If we look at each day as a divine appointment, each person we meet as somebody we are meant to touch; it makes the ordinary disappear. If we ask God, why this person? What out of this encounter am I supposed to give or receive? Then these 40 hour work weeks change. When we can focus on what it is we are to do right here, in this place and the real waking hours of life, our frustrations with where we are not, diminish. At least this works for me, when I remember to do it.

I find myself wishing that I would have listened to my husband and become debt free. We are not in a huge amount of debt, but this is a good time not to have any. www.beslavefree.com
The world is on a precarious brink. Things may change in the near future in a way we could never imagine.
When people flagrantly disobey God and reject him he let's them go into captivity. Are we about there? When I see how people can be so blind to truth, to have what they want, I get scared.
But God, who will be with me, regardless of what may come. In the back of my mind I think, well there is always Colombia. If the world as I know it and my life falls apart from political and economic chaos; I could go to Colombia and just stay there.

I wonder how long I would last. Me with my whimpy self. How quickly would I be sick? How quickly would disaster happen? Isn't it funny how fearful we can be? If I look at the truth, of what really is, I am not so whimpy. God has trained me how to handle pain. I live with daily pain. I have learned the best way to deal with pain is to just feel it, and not react to it. It is there, it is what it is, it isn't pleasant and we wish it would leave. If I evaluate it in my mind it is tolerable as long as I am not crying. I know that a lot of people out there also have this battle with daily pain and it beats them. Bodies will still go if they hurt. Bodies can still do, it is a mind over the pain battle; to a point. But those who win do fight it.

One of the times my back was hurt I fell down the stairs and broke my wrist. I didn't even care. I didn't feel the wrist. I was protesting as the doctor x rayed my wrist and casted it. I kept telling him that my BACK hurt, who cares about a stupid little broken bone? When my ankle broke in thin air with a stress fracture that was altogether different. I felt it breaking. That I worked for another 2 weeks on it before getting a boot, is another. Most days the truth is I could stay in bed for the whole day. I could take pain meds around the clock. All of my muscles and most of my joints hurt, constantly. So I have a choice. Do I live? Do I get up and put the foot that hurts down and feel the stabbing in it, and move the knees that don't want to move and work the kinks out with momentum,, or just stay still? I chose to move. I chose to live and not let pain beat me. There are too many divine appointments out there in the world, to keep. Life is not about me. When we can rise above our circumstances we embrace God's power. That's amazing grace. Life doesn't change, suffering doesn't stop, and we have victory in spite of it!

Please understand that I do not say these things arrogantly. I have seen real pain. I have watched a lot of people die. Cancer is something that can be fought for only so long, and then it does win. I just have chronic pain. My body is not being destroyed with the ravages of a disease. But even then those people who don't surrender live longer, and with a stronger countenance.

Each of us has to find our way and win our own battles. I think I am reflecting today thinking about Lisa, and Kelly's post about our friend. How does someone loose everything until death is the only answer? It's so sad. Even sadder is we let her drop out of life and didn't notice. All of us who knew Lisa have in common that we hadn't seen her in years. My prayer today is that God will take my eyes off of me, and bring to my heart and mind whoever may be forgotten.

It's Saturday a day off. A day usually consumed by chores and all the stuff that didn't get done during the week. Today I am going to take a real day off. I am going to pray for those I know who are suffering. I am going to give thanks for all I have been given. I'm going to watch and see what God is already doing and see if I can join Him. These thoughts make life worth the struggle to keep on keeping on.