Sunday, January 30, 2011

My Daughter's Ideas.

 My daughter has a knack for fixing up everything. I really like it but it also makes me feel a bit over the hill. I remember when it was me who had all the creative energy and ideas. Now I sit back and watch the improvements. She just rearranges a bit of this and that achieving a much better result.

I KNOW I look better. Even the southern ladies at church who are masters of the serious poker face cannot help but drop their chins when they see me. In a good way!  I am my daughters best marketer. She needs a business card for makeovers. I am a walking advertisement. People are actually dumbfounded that I can look this good. Which I realize does not say much for what I accomplished or didn't on my own. 

I was thinking about doing a post about makeup. She is so good at it that when she is working on my eyes one can look bigger and brighter than the other. She does that with concealer and highlights. The cool thing is we use some pretty cheap stuff. We aren't on a Lancome budget here.

Now that the house, my wardrobe, my make up and both of us have new hair do's has been accomplished; the next project is our weight.  I said it, I really did without even hacking a line through that dreaded word. No sugar.  WHAT? No sugar. Not any, like not in starch either.

To seal the deal on the sale my little sales girl tells me I can have "sugar free candy" OK. Have you ever eaten sugar free candy? It's delicious really it is. I was eating it wondering why lots of people didn't eat this stuff. My daughter walks by and says, "MOM HOW MUCH OF THAT HAVE YOU EATEN?"
Smack slurp smack, mouth full answers,"dunno maybe sith peeessssis." Daughter smiles, laughs and says "OH NO!!!!" I quit smacking,"whas tho funnnnnie?"

I would soon find out what is NOT tho funny. Sugar free candy and maltitol give most people gas. Not just a little bit of gas. The kind of ripping that country red neck truck drivers like to make jokes about! The hot yellow sulphur cloud of fumes burning your eyes bohiney out kind. My husband went through the living room waving his arms, "OH MY WORD," and glares at the dog. Sometimes our dog being our best friend goes above and beyond the call of duty you know your in trouble when the dog leaves the room.


I purchased a large box of Gas X to go with my daughters "way of eating." Since she does most of the cooking around here and I always want what she makes. I also really like the sugar free candy but NOT 6 pieces ever again not even Gas X can handle that. Being just a little competitive I want to loose some weight for spring too.  But I only want to loose weight, not all my friends and family, and I just got my dog.

How did you spend your weekend? Try anything new?

13 comments:

The Quintessential Magpie said...

I am so glad you all are having fun! I wish she would make me over. I was looking in the mirror the other day and thinking,"Where on earth have I gone???" ;-)

Switch from candy to pineapple. Eat it twice a day in between meals as a snack, and switch your complex carbs (bread) to sweet potatoes. Then be sure to drink eight eight-ounce glasses of water a day. You can thank me for the tip later. I got it from my naturopath, and believe you me, it works. Now, I just need to get on it. LOL!

XO,

Sheila :-)

Farmchick said...

LOL! Stay off the candy!!

jojo said...

sounds like a non-stop slumber party over there!

Bluebird49 said...

Yep! Can I have her for about a year???

Kat said...

You realize that you have to post a picture of yourself with your makeover now, don't you? ;)

Chris H said...

Come on now.... where's the photo of the new you then???

Linda said...

Sistah, you are lucky all that candy gave you was gas!! It has been known to cause explosive diarrhea in some people!! ;)

Laura~peach~ said...

yeah what linda said...

Mental P Mama said...

Let her go!!! And then send her here!

Karen said...

I learned the sugar free candy lesson the hard way, too. Only it was more than just gas. Ahem.

You could hire your daughter out for makeovers, you know. My house, my face, and my weight all need tackled as well.

Linda@ Lime in the Coconut said...

Ha! Cute post! You are a lucky lady with your daughter in your life.

And yep...ease up on the malitol!

Sherman Unkefer said...

You have a very nice daughter who is trying her best to help you out. You are very lucky...

Kat said...

Karen- I wanted to send this to you in an email but for some reason I can't pull up your email address.

Anyway...

Thank you for your beautiful comment on my post for Ben's birthday. You are so sweet and so kind to me. Your words mean so much to me. Thank you. :)