Thursday, June 30, 2011
I'm fortunate to be able to do it! I have had some kind of weird thing with being dizzy and nauseated for a couple of weeks. I always think of Meniere's first but then the Hunny and my daughter felt off too. Maybe there is a virus running around? When I worked in the hospital I always heard about what was floating around in the masses but now I am out of the loop.
My arm is recovering. The little improvements feel like major milestones. Using my arm and hand to work in the kitchen is just amazing. I still have to be in control of my life, I couldn't punch a time clock.
However! The progress is more than I ever hoped for. I can wash my hair with two hands and shave my legs with both. Isn't that tricky? Might sound boring to some but if you knew what I've been through, this is a big deal. When you are right handed and can't use your right hand or arm at all; washing your hair is the Olympic gold medal.
The world is full of projects, most of them in my head. Moving forward everyday and giving thanks for what gets done is the lesson in this valley. If I have learned anything through this it is to SEE.
I feel like an Avatar saying , "I see you." Stopping to see, slowing down enough to really look at life is the gift in this. My life is so slow I would drive a techie completely insane in less than 5 minutes.
No cell phone
Today is all I have. It's all any of us have. Each day we manage and have our needs met. Each day we are full, I still haven't lost weight. Food arrives at the house. Jobs happen just in time. The sun shines and the grass grows. The birds sing and I listen. The wind brushes by and I look at where it comes from, which way it's blowing and enjoy the wind chimes as it passes by.
I think one of the devils biggest tricks is to keep people so busy they can't think. When you are running all the time you feel harassed and out of control. It's easy to yell at the people you love the most because you feel wound up in knots. It's a drag. My favorite motto has always been, "I either have time and no money, or money and no time." It's been true in my life. I don't think people have to quit work to slow down but we can take an inventory of our calendars and life styles asking if such and such is really worth it. I'm finding out how to make a lot happen with a little.
When I was a teenager we had a dial telephone. There was no such thing as an answering machine or call waiting. If you were on the phone and someone tried to call, they got a busy signal. I used to get in trouble for that. Tying up my mom's phone for an hour blabbing about nothing to another teenage friend.
We had 5 channels on the TV set, and plenty of shows to watch. How much more do you need when Star Trek came on and the Man From UNCLE. There were funny shows and lots of movies. I never felt deprived.
I do feel deprived if my husband and I are driving some where and right in the middle of a great conversation he answers his cell phone. Car trips are for conversations. Cell phones are causing everything from possibly brain cancer to bees dying out. I am happy not to own one.
Cell phones are cool with all the apps and stuff but they cost you more than money. They cost you time and make you multi task. More immediate answers, immediate action, hurry hurry hurry----rats race. A fast pace makes life fly by in a blurr, it's hard to see.
These are just thoughts, ideas that I can reflect on because my life as it was has ceased to exist. This is a new life. Each day unfolds based on how I am physically and what there is to do. My biggest fears have never materialized. I am learning to trust God. To really trust God. When self reliance goes out the back door there is nothing else. Hope is replacing worry. Trust is replacing self. Gratitude is replacing want.
And I know I am just at the very beginning of discovering what life is really about.