It Just Doesn't Look Like Much.

Howdy. I am still a part of planet Earth.

Some days I feel like I'm working on a sinking ship.

I've been so busy. It's ridiculous how long it takes me to get anything done. 

It takes so long there isn't energy to write about it.

Or it's embarrassing to admit it, or both.

Seriously, did I just wake up one day and become an old lady?

I moved back upstairs. I wish you could really see this color, it's just gorgeous and the photo doesn't do it justice. I rolled the walls and my friend cut in with the brush. It's amazing what I can do now compared to six months ago, sort of. 

YES, it put me in bed for a dang week. 

I should NOT have done it but it felt so good to pretend that there is something normal about me. 

 This is the new love in my life. I used to work 12 hours a day. Now I try and work 12 hours a week split into 3 afternoons. I have not had the best attendance record. A real job would have fired me. BUT my girlfriend loves what I do with her sweet little mama so much she doesn't care!  Works for me.

I love taking care of her. She can walk so NO lifting. I get her up bathe her, dress her, give her a pedicure a  couple of times a month and then we go into the kitchen. Oh yeah and I do her hair.

We listen to music while I cook our breakfast. I get to eat too!

FOOD IS LOVE.

After we eat we play puzzles, identify words, play matching games with cards, try and count, talk, cut up and giggle and just have fun.

That's her "therapy."

She is severely demented but her response has been outstanding.

She is talking in short sentences, smiling, laughing, and responding.

IF she is upset which is very rare she babbles like she's speaking in tongues and I just reassure her.

She's sweet and pleasantly confused. 

A perfect patient.

Truthfully I don't know WHO is getting blessed more.

I think it's me.

I make a small amount of money which helps us get gas and a bit of food. 

I don't do it for the money,I used to make that much in 3 hours.

I used to work 12 hours a day. Repeating myself again.

How did I do that?

Seriously, I can't even comprehend doing that much work in day, or a week or a month.

Now I work for the love and the pure joy of it. 

My gardening has changed as well. How do you like this? It's all from the dollar store and doesn't require any water or fertilizer. It took me FOREVER  to just clean up the side yard. Argh....the frustration is intense. To work 10 years establishing an amazing garden and not be able to keep it up is just gross. I want to move. The timing isn't right yet but maybe in the future.

The kids are doing great and they are so much more comfortable in the big room. We tried to have David use the utility room as his bedroom and that just didn't work. We were back to putting the vacuums in any available corner and stepping over toys to wash clothes was too much for me! Man do I remember those days. I think one of the hardest parts of getting laundry done when you are a young mother is the stepping over, clearing a path, wiping snotty noses, and answering the phone..... on your way to the washer; where you never get.

There are some advantages to age.

Here's my latest project or part of it. I am PURGING! Barfing up stuff, gobs of it. I have too many books, too many pictures, too much wall art, an excess of baskets, 3 sets of dishes, and all the stuff my grandmother asked me to "take care of".  

I am over it!

IF I have learned anything in this process it is that too much stuff is a ball and chain around my neck. Yes Ebeneezer Jacob Morley was right.

My brother is coming to get a bunch of Grandma's things my family isn't interested. Then the burden will be his. I haven't even really bought my own style of things because I have so much from other people. I am grateful but I just don't care about keeping all of this. It's work to have things. They have to be dusted and they take up space. I am just over it!

I'm repeating myself. It's a symptom of dementia. I sometimes think my best meeting of the minds is with my sweet demented lady. Hummmmmmmm. I have remembered recently though that I have a blog and I used to write on it, and I liked it. A short moment of clarity and a brief window of time. I am on vacation this week.  The plan is to pack up everything I don't want and get it out of here! and post.

OK the SQUIRREL. I kept the squirrel for 3 weeks. My cats and my dog wanted to eat her.

Yes, this 66 pound handsome boy really wanted a squirrel snack.  Aint he a handsome boy?
 I kept her by herself unless I could guard the cage because it's a lot of stress to feel like a little hamburger with feet. I don't know if squirrels have the brains to realize that a cage keeps them safe. Really.
I found a wild life rescue and turned her over to them. I didn't want to release her and have her come over for a bottle or a slice of banana and become cat food, nawww not.
However the story does have a funny twist to it. I said I thought I had a 5 or 6 week old baby squirrel that was still taking a bottle. When I dropped her at the vet they told me I had a much older squirrel than that. She was a "teenager". MY question was, "Then why is she still taking a bottle?' After all she was still very small and I was feeling like a perfect idiot!

Answer.    

 BECAUSE you are giving it to her!

Naturally, the story of my life, spoil everything in my touch, spoiled rotten.