Tuesday, January 17, 2012
ALL IS CALM
On one of Janie's posts she was writing about 25 things she knows for sure. I am not sure if I know 25 things but a few things I am sure of.
#1. I am THE most gullible smart stupid woman in the world.
proof is: yesterday my hubbins told me it was a holiday because of Robert E. Lee's birthday. I nodded uh OK, works for me. I didn't look at the calendar or watch TV. I didn't have any reason to doubt him.
HE said it perfectly matter of fact, no grin nothing.
#2. I might have started a racial war inadvertently because I asked if "Yankee's" had the same holiday. My BFF called me in hysterics and called me an idiot and told me to delete it in a hurry that it was Martin Luther Kings official national holiday. I jumped up like I had red ants on me.
#3. Whoops. I had commented on someones blog. GAH a very smart writer. I read that blog but don't comment much because that person is smarter and wittier than I am. SO I FINALLY have got something to say; YEP whaddaya think about Robert E Lee day? Where is hole to hide my head?
#4. I am positive that I have hoof in mouth disease and I have a raging case of of oral athletes foot.
Does Tinactin make toothpaste?
#5. There is a silver lining in every cloud however; because my dog's infestation is only dandruff, not walking dandruff.
#6. Walking dandruff is a nice way to say that your critter has an infestation of lice and you have just lost all your friends and relatives.
#7. Next year there will be absolutely no comments regarding any events or person who lived during the Civil War. The only Civil War that may be occurring may be between me and my man that can pull such fast ones on me. He has not pulled a fast one on me in a long time. I'll hear about this for the next 25 years because he will weave it into a nice long story that everyone I have ever known simply must hear. ROTFLMAO--maybe he will choke.
#8. I am sure that in the 25 years I have been married to him that if nothing else I have provided our family with a whole deluge of dumb blond jokes. They now have new material.
That's it. the eight things I know. Both of my dogs had bathes today. I washed all my linen and Roman's dog bed cover. I spent all my money at the vet. I am grateful that he couldn't find the dog lice. I am still looking at those flakes though. Worst case of dandruff I have ever seen.
Roman is on Prozac until Sammy gets neutered because I cannot abide his perverted behavior. I cannot convince Sammy to put his tail down and quit wiggling his cute little butt; so Roman gets to be on drugs. He is very relaxed tonight. That poor dog has been so miserable itching he is entitled to a few drugs. I'll take some myself. All is calm tonight. I haven't shot the dog. I didn't start WWIII and there was no race riot. My husband is still breathing and his daughter hasn't laughed that good for a long time.
It was a very very good day.