Wednesday, August 13, 2008

She's A Clean Freak


It all started in my twenties. A friend of mine named Crazy Mary really dazzled me. She was cool. Her house was decorated in antiques, Persian rugs, big huge Boston ferns and glossy green plants, and it was spotless at all times. I loved hanging out with her, she was hilarious. She was a clean smoker. She would smoke a cigarette and wash her ash tray. She never had a stinky ash tray full of butts. Her house didn't stink either, I don't know how she did that.

One day Crazy Mary was mad at Cool Charlie and she came over to my house. I almost fainted. Mary did not leave her domain you came to her house. We were sitting on the couch and talking and she piped up with, "Let's clean your house". I was a bit surprised because I thought my house looked pretty good. But not an idiot I would take some housework help in a New York minute. "Really, you want to clean my house"?
She did, so we did.

Mary showed me clean at a whole new level. Where you move things and wipe and wash, leaving no inanimate object untouched. We kicked my little places rear end. I couldn't believe the difference it felt simply mavalous. That was the day that I bit into the neurosis of a clean house hook line and sinker. I liked it. Sitting in a clean room makes me feel relaxed. Why is that? Any shrinks out there that understand this compulsion? Over the years my neurosis has developed a mind of it's own. When my house is not perfectly spotless, my nerves are jingled, and I get cranky. The two teen people do not join in with my clean freakiness. They like to be piggies, the little one is a wallowing in the mud rolling in dust and dog hair kind of piglet, hence her name.

This week it was war. I have been cleaning. DEEP cleaning, every nook and crannie, every book and every inch of this house, at least the downstairs has been washed, wiped waxed, and otherwise debulked of cat hair, dog hair and kids munchies. WHAT A MESS! The grand finale was having the rugs shampooed, and I took my couches apart and washed all the covers, had the rug man wash the frames. EVERYTHING. I entered the scary Piglets room and she was forced to clean her ceiling fan, look out below!
We cleaned her doors and blinds, washing away 2 years of dirt. She needs a paint job. It made her a nervous wreck because she has piles all over the clean rug already. My kids have the opposite affliction, they are content with messes. Let there be clutter for comfort. I hope one day while I am still alive they meet a crazy Mary and get my neurosis. I will just laugh.

While it's still clean, which may be just a day or two I am on the hunt for a big area rug. One rug the size of the room. Trying to think of what will work with these cats. We have long black dog hair, and copious quantities of white fluff from the Puffins. So what do I choose a black and white Flokati? Persian? Shag? Natural fibers? Well that is the question what would you suggest?

12 comments:

noble pig said...

Please come over and help me! What a great friend too, Wow...lucky, lucky you girlfriend.

Laura ~Peach~ said...

send her to give my kids the BUG I have PIG chillerins!

Chris H said...

WE are very similar! and I have piglets for kids too. I hate a mess.. and our new puppy? Does not shed hair! WHOOOOOP! As for your area rug... something black/white and fluffy, then you won't notice the dog hair!

Kathy said...

I like things clean and tidy but also like 'lived in' comfortable. Out here in the hills we have dust, mud, horse manure,dust, hay,cat hair, dog hair, and more dust. No matter how much you try, plenty of it follows you in. After working outdoors all day, I lool like 'pig-pen's mom'. Of course drop-in visitors only come by when I look like I never bathe or wash clothes.
I have one daughter who NEEDS everything clean and orderly at all times.
I have a second daughter who could be related to piglet, but has improved greatly over the years.

Thanks for the sweet comment! Ditto...

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Antonym of Clean Freak: Chesapeake Bay Woman (insert picture of Pigpen from Charlie Brown here)

Yesterday I discovered a butterfly struggling to free itself from a cobweb. Outside? No. In my living room. I only wish I were making this up.

The Environmental Protection Agency has been called to investigate the unusual odors and potential deadly gases seeping from the closet that houses my trash can. (We will not discuss my bathroom as that investigation is ongoing and the results still pending.)

I want to be a tidy and organized person but I am physically and mentally incapable.

-cbw

LadiesoftheHouse said...

Isn't it amazing how different people think about how clean is clean? My grandma was a clean FREAK--I loved her house but even as a kid I wondered why was she always cleaning? I like things clean, but can pretty easily turn my head the other way if they aren't :-)

Mabunny said...

HMm, don't think i would want either of you at my house. I keep it clean for the most part but not anal clean. lol. If I know company is coming over I kick it over to high drive, and my mom or whoever comments on how nice my house looks, lol. (psst, it doens't always look lik that!)

Brenda said...

Please come clean my house.

Susiewearsthepants said...

The three years I spent in college while working a full time job cured me of my clean freaky ways. I still have not recovered, much to my own dismay. Your pictures inspire new levels of envy in my little black heart.

imbeingheldhostage said...

oh yeah, that's it-- I think I heart you :-)

I would like a spotless house to relax in and a home for my kids to live in. Apparently the two can never meet.

Karen Deborah said...

ya'll are so funny,...

Coffee Bean said...

You crack me up!