The Verdict

I have been praying. I asked God to show me clearly today what to do. I asked him to have my doctor have the time to really think about my situation, my job, the work I do, or did. I asked for a clear path.

Have you ever had a doc make you feel special? I'm being serious here. You know in this busy day when so much poop is hitting the fan on a daily basis not many people even remember how to be real anymore. I knew I liked him, I always liked him. I still clean surgical incisions with alcohol because I learned it from him, give em a bath in it, to keep them from infections. It works.

Our conversation went something like this.

Doc, "So how you doin honey those sandals working OK for ya?" ( I had ditched the crutches and the braces already. I was going back to work.)

Me, "Yeah, I'm alright." (thinking good maybe this means I can work)

Doc, "So you going to get your hip fixed?" (humm, could be a snag)

Me, "Well, actually I was thinkin about just forgetting about it and going back to work." (there it is just threw that bone out there)

Doc, "The core procedure?" (actually no, thinking about a job here)

Me, "No, nothing, just forget about it."

Doc, "Well, you could try that for awhile but it's hurtin you isn't it? ( did he really have to mention that?)

Me, "Yeah, it does." (it doesn't move very well either but I am not going to admit that out loud)

Doc, "This isn't play, this is the real deal. Your hip will get worse and hurt more and maybe break. You'll get really cranky, your a happy person. You need to fix it."

Me, "I feel bad about my job, they've been really good to me."

Doc, "You've been good too. Most nurses are grumpy. There should be premium pay for you."
He gives me a real thumbs up.

Doc, "This guy I want to fix your hip, he's going to be the guy to fix my mom's knee."

Me, "OK." (your killin me here with being so nice, just quit it.)

The nurse, "He's on a mission trip right now that's why you can't get in sooner."

Me, "OK." ( that's cool!)

Doc, "You fix your hip and you'll be up in 6 weeks fluffin and puffin, making your patients feel better."

So that's it. I went to talk to my manager and he was really cool about it. He's going to ask HR what the next step is. He's even going to ask if they can find me a desk job. Imagine that, a desk job, feels like being put out to pasture but I would be grateful for any job that I could do. It's so amazing to reap so much kindness from people. I know that it is true that we reap what we sow. We never reap at the same time as when we sow, but still it is a gift.

To have people go out of their way to be affirming and to help. It makes me so glad that I have been the kind of nurse I am for all these years. In my mind I know it makes a difference. From being sick a long time ago I knew it made a difference. This time after years of working hard, of seeing hundreds of faces of families pass before the eyes of my memory, this time I know down to my tippy toes; being kind makes a powerful difference. And something else, I have never been in control. I have always liked to pretend. It seems like we make plans and set goals to achieve this and that, but it's only by the grace of God that anything happens at all.

While we are in this get real mode. We have had two guests with the house a total mess, sheet rock dust on everything, stuff everywhere, the table isn't even cleared off. Guess what? I made a batch of biscuits and a pot of spaghetti and everyone had a good time in spite of it all. That's a first, I always like everything to be just right for guests. They enjoyed us anyway, they really did. Sometimes life can be so amazing that all you can do is just take a deep breath and go for the ride. Do you know?