Saturday, December 18, 2010

So Much to Share

I am getting better, it is a very slow process. One of the problems I have been having is that my hands will not stay steady to type. With the pharmaceutical soup I am on, that problem is improving.
This picture was taken on Thanksgiving and I think it's our best side.

My daughter has been doing everything. I cannot tell you enough. She has brought the holidays to life here. It would bleak indeed if she hadn't come. Words are easy to say, we tell each other of our love, but actions really do speak louder than words. Out of everyone in my family the one person who came to help me was the one most criticized.  We are so quick to judge harshly.  I am so grateful for my daughter she has saved my life, literally.

Jenny and the Hunny decorated the outside and it is so FESTIVE! The decorations this year are a blend of our things. Jen has the Frosty and the kids love him. He looks like the door keeper peeking out from under the porch. He has to be hog tied to keep from blowing away in all the icy winds we have been having. Betcha can't tell who baked this pie.

Another view from a different place. It''s pretty.

 Jen has decorated every inch of this house! I love everything she has done. It is amazing to watch your home be transformed into the holiday spirit without doing any work. I have never experienced that before. I have done it for others at times but this is a first to be on the receiving end of so much love.

The kids and I decorated the tree and they did a great job. I actually did not rearrange it. I have rearranged the tree for years. I realized this year that everyone decorating together brings a special joy that I have missed out on by being so controlling with how everything looks. To soon old to late smart.
How about you do you rearrange what the kids do?

These children are so precious. I miss the other two. I hope someday they return and we can photograph everyone together.

Do you see this radiant smile? I wake up to her kissing me good morning and bringing me coffee in bed.
She starts music so I can focus on something other than how I feel. Then she helps me with an outfit and accessories. I have NEVER been so stylish! She needs to be a personal consultant to people to show them how to use their wardrobes well. She pulls out mixtures of things I have never thought of and it looks fabulous!! She used to put my makeup on for me but I have improved enough to do that myself!
Except for lipstick. If I did my lipstick I'd look like Bozo the clown. My hands hop all over.

There is nothing so sweet as a sleeping child. Isn't he angelic?

My Christmas cactus is blooming. It is the only living flower here. We have had such severe freezes I think my garden may be missing many plants and bushes this spring. Everything looks dead.

Cuddling upstairs in Jen's little nest, she has made the room the coziest room in the house. They even have a Christmas tree in there.

Jenny told me to pose like ET. No make up but ya'll have seen me that way plenty. My hand is cramping from this little bit of typing. I miss you all so much. I miss blogging! I think of posts but cannot write them. However! I have so much to be grateful for! For one, finding out that I have RSD in the 1st 3 months is very important for recovering from it. It has been 3 months since I fell. I have had the 3 blocks in the first 3 months. I'm not swollen anymore and I am in therapy. I also take a ton of medication that is very necessary to keep the pain and shaking down. I can sleep and the medications do give me relief from pain that was unbearable. My family loves me and is here to help me get better. So much to be grateful for!

As I think about the sweet little baby Jesus in an animal feed trough and the humble beginnings of his life here on Earth, I really have nothing to complain about. Each one of us has our own troubles and trials. There are many people who suffer much more than I do. People whose pain is not relieved, either physical, emotional, or spiritual. But God who is so faithful to help us wherever we are at if we just give Him the opportunity. At times our trials can be so overwhelming we get angry with God. I have been feeling that. Even with my failures God has been good to me. In spite of my depression and lack of hope, God has been faithful to help me.  You see God IS love. He cannot deny himself. He cannot change who he is. He is love. What God does isn't dependent on what I do or how I feel.  Thank God for that! If that was the case I would be buried right now. Instead my heart is full of love for my family, all of them. That includes Heather and Kayla who chose to be away for now. They will always be welcome. My gratitude for those who are here now is not measurable. My gratitude to my Lord is as it should be, He has helped me to get there. Healing is never just the physical body, our spirits and emotions need to be touched too.  I have come far. I have a long way to go. Each day has a bit of progress to be celebrated.  Christmas this year has me full of hope. I'm thankful for all God has done.

I hope that your hearts are full of joy for what God has done in your families. The presents are fun but their happiness is short lived. It is what we treasure in our hearts that lasts. I think of each one of you even though I don't comment on every blog on my list. But as I  read my blogroll I think of each of you. There are some still here that don't blog anymore, but your not forgotten Grandma J. It's hard when we read a blog for a long time and it just gets deleted or that friend stops writing. This Christmas what I do most is pray. Praying is something that doesn't take physical strength. I am praying for you. God bless you this year with abundant joy and the time and peace to enjoy it!  Merry Christmas!!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Blessings Too Great To Contain

Have you ever forgotten something important? I forgot how much I loved to swim. Do you remember that?
Much more important than swimming; I had forgotten how to lift my eyes above my circumstances. I had forgotten how to find encouragement.

God is able to keep. God is able to save. His arm is not too short. He has remembered me and heard my cries in the dark of depression, pain and suffering. He sent me a ministering "angel."

I have to share with you this blessing. My daughter gave up all her possessions to come to my aid, most of her things that were shipped arrived broken. She cried that one day and let it go. Could you do that? Could I? No I don't think so, not me, not yet.

When I wake up in the morning there is a cup of coffee by my bedside. Sweet music is in the air. I am greeted with the sweetest smile and a kiss.  My soul responds to the love and it lifts above the pain. I can focus outside of myself because of her love for me. She points my eyes to look up to the Lord from whence cometh my help.

Then my baby helps to dress me. She picks out pretty outfits that I could never put together because she is very talented with style and design. She is an artist in every way. After that she puts my makeup on for me because I cannot do it and I look pretty. I am physically the same but looking pretty helps a lot. My precious granddaughter paints my nails. I have never looked so good.
My heart is light. My spirits are lifted up. My daughter has risen up and called me blessed. She has given up everything to help me, no greater love is this. Than a woman lay down her life for a friend.

Jenny played this song for me this morning. This man has a set of pipes on him to be sure, but what brought us to tears was what he said about the quiet crucible of suffering.  I hope this ministers to your heart today. Tomorrow I am going to share some more funny goings on but this blessed me so much.
I hope you get "hooked up to heaven" too.