Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry Christmas

 Christmas is here. All of the decorating,
 the cooking and crafting,
 business that even the dog notices,
 the tree and it's packages
 all ready to celebrate. My computer sits ready for me to think of you. To remember friends seen and not seen, to reminisce on the changes that one year has made.
 We have both come a LONG way. The puppy is maturing and perhaps still growing a little. He will be two in April he is definitely a royal poodle.
 Ahhh to sit and just enjoy--it feels good to me too buddy so sweet.
 Such a face, I'm smitten with my pooda pony. He has so many colors in his coat. A blond muzzle, black and white ears, chocolate and black on the rest, his DNA just couldn't decide on one color so it splurged.  What he does have is size and stature. He is one well built dog.
 I always digress when it comes to the bear. Back to Christmas.
 I think that one of the projects after Christmas will be to put that painting back in the attic. Heather Lynn wants it.
 My soft wonderful couch, Merry Christmas to me from God above. I say that because finding this at the Goodwill was a miracle. Both end recline and the leather is very high quality with that soft touch.
It is enjoyed by all of us.  Look at this cuteness. Seriously cute cheeks on each one.
 Really it is all about this isn't it? Family
 and friends? We had a birthday party for the baby Jesus. The children loved it.
 My baby loved her bunny pajamas when she was a girl. I think her last one was when she was 12. She got a cheetah suit with soft feet in the bottom. She is short so it needs some altering but she loved it. We opened a few things on Christmas eve because mom knew that the present was new pajamas. It's 45 degrees and raining so the cozy sleeper is welcome.
 Boo boo got Eeyore pj's and her mom bought her this furry hat. We had fun.
 The grandson got some new bey blades his favorite toy. I bought him a camo bunny suit thinking it would be alright but it wasn't. He came out of his room in it and his sister said, "oh Ralphie". It was too small and he looked so silly. We said go ahead and take it off and the boy said, "Do I have to put it back on"?
At least it wasn't pink. I imagined a leg lamp with a fishnet stocking in my living room window. It would go well with the painting.
 Oblivious. What leg lamp?
Adorable. All the cooking was done today so tomorrow for Christmas day all we have to do is relax and enjoy. We are going to church and then I might just get back into my pajamas and cuddle up on the couch. I am so grateful for all these blessings and the health and strength to enjoy them all.

I wish YOU and your families a blessed Christmas and a toast with your favorite beverage to the New Year!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Buyers Remorse

Tomorrow I have a day off and I plan to take a few pictures of all the Christmas decorations that my daughter has done. You know how plans go though, mostly awry. I am sooooo spoiled to have a daughter who did all this work and made everything gorgeous. You haven't seenmy couch either. What a score that is!

 I have a new computer and I am having so much trouble with blogger,is it them or the computer? Hard to know. I say this after trying to add a few colors to my template so that my blog is not black on black at Christmas. I don't know how it all went black anyway when I picked out that pretty star. I thought I was going to have a total crash adding colors. Good grief Charlie Brown, you never got to enjoy technology. Those would have been some great cartoons. Charlie Brown and a Smart phone. Snoopy and a Smart phone. Beethoven and a lap top. Lucy selling advice for 50 bucks?

Did you see the news tonight about how many people have been returning things even before Christmas?
I have to put my hand up. I ordered a Dyson vacuum from HSN on easy pay. I started thinking about how hard easy pay is and how long 5 months is. I sent it back and went to Walmart. In front of the vacuums was a family buying a filter for a vacuum they like. I asked them if they had pets, yes they did. They had 2 big dogs that shed tons of hair and cats. I asked about their carpet, it is a thick shag=frieze. OK this is going well it may even be a divine appointment a sign and how does the vacuum work? Great. How long?  A year. Sold. One vacuum for $79.95 less than even one easy pay. For that much if it only lasts one year I won't care. Came home and it did a great job and I have been relieved of the anxiety of easy pay.

In fact just about everything I bought on credit I returned. It's too much stress and really in this economy it's crazy. I'm still thinking how much better it would be for me to give to the really poor.
Then the rubber hits the road and my husband hands me a hundred dollar bill. The exact price of that pet spot bot I want to try and keep this stupid carpet in one piece for longer than the less than the two years I have had sentence ever I had to keep the last dumb carpet for ten years. After ten years of complaining about carpet when my husband finally agreed to put in laminate, what did I do?

I bought another carpet.

Temporary insanity---no maybe ever present insanity.
Isn't the definition of insanity doing things the same way and expecting different results?

Yeah, I thought so.


I did have my reasons. We have too many different kinds of flooring already. Three different kinds of linoleum. When I mentioned how far I wanted the laminate to go taking out some of the linoleum my hubs vetoed that. A not budging from the veto kind of veto. Then there was all the noise on the stairs. Stairs without carpet are REALLY noisy and I am half deaf. So how noisy is that? Have you ever heard 70 pounds of dog running up and down stairs?
Then I had mental images of my 74 year old husband on his hands and knees installing this flooring board by board and I just threw in the proverbial towel. I would buy carpet. A nice thick carpet that would feel good under our feet and be pretty to look at. I wouldn't get a solid color. I wouldn't get a plush. I'd search until I found the perfect thing. Sounds good right?

The problem is this carpet looks 20 years old already and it's not even two. I tried to file a claim because its GUARANTEED. My foot. It is not guaranteed, not by Lowe's and not by Mohawk. No it's tough luck lady so sorry you have an ugly rug. We got your money and neener neener neener @#$%
raspberries blowing----

OK I have been suckered so plan B right? (Sic Chris H on them) New vacuum and maybe the spot bot. At least if it's clean it may be better. Professional shampooing hasn't helped it just mattes and looks just like it did before, like a carpet of dreadlocks. Rastafarian flooring baby!

The new cheap vacuum is helping a lot, a whole lot. I really want the Spot Bot and now I have the money but there is a problem.

Like "Houston we have a problem", wasn't that a great movie? Are you still here?

I keep thinking about the winter I got locked outside and nearly froze to death--for real. I have PTSD about getting cold. I cannot handle getting cold, I become instantly neurotic. The World Vision mail came asking for the coats for freezing children. I felt sick. Sick as in nauseous and faint.

I keep thinking about the clean water filtration systems that Gospel for Asia have invented. They are amazing! $30 can  buy a filtration system that gives people clean pure water. I wouldn't want to drink muddy water. I think all of us take for granted that we have clean water from our taps. Instead we buy even better water! Google it. You'll be amazed. I mean really the water in our toilets is more drinkable. How is that for perspective?

I keep thinking about chickens, ducks, and baby goats, cows, bicycles, and mosquito netting, sewing machines, medicines, and on and on. One thing can change the course for the poorest of the poor to a better life. Just one thing.

I have pockets.

I keep thinking about whose birthday it really is and why should I get a present? Why shouldn't the birthday baby get the presents? If Jesus would leave heaven and all glory and humble himself to be born and experience everything we do, because of His great love for us---then shouldn't He receive some gifts? The kind of gifts he would want, like feeding the hungry and clothing the naked. Don't I love Him? Forget the "shouldest" isn't it the right thing to do? Isn't it about love? About sacrificial love? What is a gift that doesn't cost us anything?

I wanted to run to Walmart at ten o'clock tonight and buy my Spot Bot.
I knew it was a losing battle. I didn't go. Now I have talked about it.
Blogged about it on the WWW. I've picked up a megaphone to the whole world.
Now I can't buy a stupid Spot Bot without thinking of this post forever.
How can I even think of choosing between the baby Jesus and a shag carpet?
It's the nature of being a human and having warts. Wart wart wart.
Mostly we hide ugly stuff but tonight I felt like showing some warts and then removing those nasty buggers.

Tomorrow I'm going to buy some coats, and do some shopping.
Tomorrow I'm going to buy without remorse in honor of the sweet little 8 pound baby Jesus.
...and forget about the stupid  rastafarian dreadlock carpet. that the dawg has had diarreah on and the cats have puked hairballs on, etc...etc...etc...

I think I'll be feeling a lot more of the real magic of Christmas after that shopping gets done.
I am looking forward to the joy of giving.
After which I'll probably spill red wine on that oatmeal colored dreadlocked mess;
and bust up laughing.

Merry Christmas indeed!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

One Day At A Time

 Life never happens exactly like we expect and dying doesn't either. Over the years I have seen such a strong comparison to birth in death. Adeline has been having her share of "Braxton Hicks" all the signs of impending real labor. She is declining, and interpreting what is going on to her family can be a real challenge. She has good days and bad days. There are beautiful moments where she is so lucid it is as if her dementia is gone. That is an amazing blessing.

The signs are all there. She is losing her appetite. She has disengaged from all the activities that she enjoyed. I was going to set her up in her bed and put on Jack Benny and she said , NO! I tell you what that no meant no. I was a bit disappointed because I have yet to finish the Jack Benny DVD and he is hilarious! I just might get a few of those old time comedians. They aren't grossly nasty and they are really funny. One of the things that has endeared me to Adeline is her love of laughter.

This woman has given me so much. You know as a culture we are so busy and so self absorbed that we are really missing out on what other human beings have to share with us. Our old and infirm that get shuffled off to institutions have a lot to share with us if we interact with them calmly and with patience. My experience with Adeline has been a lesson in patience. Sometimes it would take her mind quite a few minutes to process a task, but as she worked at it her brain began to engage again.
We played cards. What we did was take UNO cards and I would lay down about three numbers at a time in the same color and say what they were, for example, "Blue zero, one two and three." Then I would hand her a red zero and ask her to match the number. At first she just matched and didn't speak but as we continued she began to count and remember early childhood rhymes like, "One two buckle my....and she would say "shoe", and laugh.

 I think I stumbled onto something that helps dementia. My doctor told me that this is actually the direction that research for dementia and Alzheimer's is going.  Bummer I thought I made a scientific discovery! The brain is so interesting because the two halves work so so differently. The right brain is more intuitive and it is connected with physical motions. All the songs we sing as little kids when we are playing games stay in our minds. Jump rope songs, or for men military marching to ....well shoot fire whatever it is that they call that marching cadence. Whatever it is they don't forget it. It's right brain learning.

Excuse me while I blow off steam that somehow a big chunk of what I was writing just went into cyberspace and now I have to regroup and try to to get back to where I was to do it again. Did you follow that? OK that is when I want to slam down the lid of a laptop and forget it.
Of course you would never get frustrated like that right? Which is where I was going but in a different way.

Adeline has a very long fuse. She has the ability to trust and be flexible. If she is not hurried, if things are explained to her she just trusts and goes with the program. What a lesson! I have a long way to go to be even close. I get frustrated easily. I am not sure I have the slightest inclination to growing old gracefully. My mother used to tell me that.

I heard a man telling a story of his childhood with his grandfather. They used to ride the bus together. It didn't matter where they went. They picked a place to go walked around the terminal and rode back. They ate toffees and they talked. His grandfather shared with him about life. He told him stories and he taught him important lessons. The boy loved it. He didn't need a Nintendo as much as he needed the time and the human connection.

Sometimes I ask myself what on earth are we doing to ourselves with the culture we participate in. Why do agree to be in a frantic state of stress to achieve WHAT? A collection of belongings that we will later dispose of? A pile of toys for both child and adult that keep us active independently of each other until boredom sets in? At what price?

Next year my Christmas is going to be different. Next year my presents are going to be to the baby Jesus. What would Jesus want? When we look at his life he went about expressing compassion, healing the sick, multiplying loaves and fishes, feeding people comforting people, teaching them.
I think Jesus would like it if I gave a poor family a goat, or some chickens. If I bought coats for freezing children, or helped a village get clean water. There are a lot of agencies now that let you do just that. World Vision, Samaritans Purse, Gospel for Asia.  We can change other peoples lives that are in dire need for so little. I don't want to be so self absorbed with one part of my brain and the other part is saying  gimme gimme.

Not to long ago my daughter and I had a fight. Mothers and daughters do that from time to time.
OCD. I can be a freak, I confess. That scares me because what kind of old lady am I going to be? One of those that bites or spits? GAW! God forbid.

Do you remember in the Christmas Carol when Jacob Marley appears in the chains he forged through life? That is a good analogy for us in regards to our personalities and character. What kind of character are we building? When we are old the camouflage comes off and what we are is exposed. I want to be sweet, flexible and trusting. I want to laugh easy and accept my food without complaining. To be like Adeline. she might have dementia but she has shown me how to be endearing in spite of a difficulty.
What a legacy to leave, what an incredible gift. I am so blessed.

These last days I will keep and treasure in my heart forever. Do you remember where I was last year at this time? Hurt hardly able to do anything. I needed help with everything getting dressed, bathing, you know EVERYTHING. I could mange to wipe my own whohah. I became very fearful after that injury. I stayed home for a long time. This little job with Adeline has been therapy for me. I'm stronger and have more confidence. I don't worry about my arm all the time anymore. I have developed more stamina. By serving her I am being healed. We rescued each other and that is the hand of God directly working to touch his children's lives and bring them good.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Going Home

Sweet Adeline is getting ready to leave us. Wednesday began in the ordinary way with our usual routine of bath day. After breakfast she was accelerating into another place. I have seen this before but I always marvel how those who aren't medicated seem to see into the afterlife while they are still here. Whatever she was looking at was making her want to get up and go.

We have been so careful helping her to sit and to walk and on this day she wasn't needing any help! If I didn't have her up to the table she would have stood up and gone some where. I asked her where she was going and she said, "Somewhere else from here"!  Bless her heart she saw angels and spoke wildly all that day and all night lone until Thursday morning. Then she was just quiet and worn out and she quit eatting. Friday when I came she couldn't get up, didn't want to eat, and appeared to be actively dying.
We called the doctor and arranged for hospice to come to the house. They will provide a lot of support and they handle the details of the death so gently. It will be better with them involved. Last night I stayed with her all night in my recliner lounger, listening to her breathe and praying.

There are so many parallels to birth in death. I felt like a new mother does listening to her newborn breathe. I was listening too. Awake and ready if she became distressed or the breathing stopped. Neither happened she had a quiet night. It seems her leaving slowed down for now. Her other daughter arrives today and I think she is waiting for her.

Last night her grandson and his wife came over and after they left she woke up and her eyes returned to clear blue from the opaque cloudiness they had become. She gazed into my face and then her daughters going back and forth between us giving us both so much of her love in those sweet tender smiles. She is amazing. What a testimony to be so full of grace and trust.  She said to me," I don't understand this," and one tear rolled down the side of her cheek tearing into my heart. I told her, 'You said you want to go to Jesus, isn't that right"? She answered, "Yes". I continued, "That's what's happening your getting ready to go, and we will be right her taking care of you just like always". That settled it for her. She was reassured enough to relax and go back to sleep. A sleep of trusting.

I wonder if I will ever be able to give up control like that. I am told she was quite a controlling person in her day so there is HOPE.

There is hope today for her going home. We will miss her. We all did our share of crying as the realization of what was happening set in. But God who is able to keep us in perfecr peace is doing His job.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

A Monthly Blogger?

Have I really become a monthly blogger? It seems so. I'm not sure how this happened exactly. There are people out there in bloggy land that I have come to love. Your the ones who share ideas, jokes, your families and struggles. My kind of people and really I do miss you.

I'm in a period of my life where getting things done is just hard to do. It seems my lists of jobs are much longer than the days and my ability to get a job accomplished isn't what it used to be.
For months I have been working on getting rid of excess stuff. I had a garage sale and did pretty well.
I still have 6 bins of books a huge train set an extra couch and a couple bins of just stuff. I'm trying to get the honey to get rid of some of the junk up in the shed too. It almost feels impossible. I could use a crew of helpers.

On the other hand I love my little old lady to death. She is the most adorable old lady I have ever had the joy of caring for. My love for her nearly brings me to tears. She is the one that is helping me. I hope that I can become like her. She  has the best disposition she just smiles and laughs. She can't remember too much and she is very demented but she is happy. She trusts, and she's flexible with changes, incredible traits in a human being. I want to be like her. She has qualities I admire so much.
Taking care of people like this always teaches me the VALUE of each human life. Just because someone has some kind of handicap does not mean they don't have a contribution of some kind. Many of them are here to teach us to have a greater capacity for love.

It was Hitler who thought that anyone who was not young, athletic and part of his program should die. Before the Jews were sent to the camps he systematically euthanized everyone who was "defected", more than 5 million people. Did you know that some schools are refusing to teach about the holocaust? Teenagers are not learning who Adolf Hitler is. What is forgotten can be repeated!

I had no intention of writing this. It's funny how writing can take on a life of it's own. My mind went down that path because I was thinking about handicapped people. I was thinking about how they are treated. A friend of mine used to call it being treated like an eggplant. Vegetables.  That whole term repulses me. A human being is never a plant. A human being needs to be treated as such for their entire life. The problem is it takes more TIME, and it takes more ENERGY and above all else it takes LOVE. People respond to love.

I have been busy with teaching my class on Sunday morning. I think that takes a lot of my writing energy. Some weeks I am so excited with what God has given me to give to the women. I have a little group. I have to confess that I have dreamed of being a conference speaker and teaching large groups, making a change in the world, but God has given me a few. I am content and grateful for them! I love them. It is a humbling thing to try and present the KING OF KINGS to others. It is a huge responsibility and I take that very seriously. Each week it is my goal to bring them something that will enlarge their vision of who Jesus is. Each week my own vision is changed. I am the one who is being taught. God is amazing. My love for Jesus is being rekindled with a new fire in my belly. I want Him to be my first thought and my last thought. I want to know Him deeper. I want everything He has for me.  I want Him to heal my body.

My bones hurt all the time, especially my hips. Even typing on a laptop in bed is very painful. I really don't blog as much because each post is written with pain. You know how I am. I don't like to talk about it. Both of my hips are affected and I have a lot of difficulty with everything.  It's even hard to sleep. After awhile turning from side to side just doesn't work anymore and I wake up. It's usually some awful hour like 4am. Yuk. I turn on my TV and listen to encouraging messages. A good thing that has come from this is I found Joseph Prince. What a teacher!!!! I can't get enough of his teaching he is brilliant and anointed by God in a most powerful way. My heart and mind expand with every message, my faith is growing. I praise God for this. God is using the pain in my hips to create in me a deeper capacity for Him. So you see it is true that God uses ALL things for good to those he has called. Amen!

Our house is decorated for Christmas. Jennifer and the children did all the work. I found a gorgeous leather couch at the Good will for $160. It looks fabulous.  So now my other couch is out in the carport sitting on a table with all the bins. The laundry room is so full of stuff you can't walk in there. Someone deliver me. I feel like that commercial

My daughter just came up to talk and I lost my train of thought. I'm looking at my cat. Big fat fur ball that loves my bed. He is so cute. My dog is cute my cat is cute my old lady is cute, I'm surrounded by cuteness. I've got cute people too. So much to enjoy. My goal today is to not stress over all the work that remains undone. My goal is to be thankful to enjoy this day as if it's the only one I have and to be gracious, and laugh. Life is so great with laughter.

My wish for you today is that you also have a heart of gratitude and ready laughter. I pray we all avoid the stress of this season and instead find ways to enjoy it. The music, the lights, the blessings and the promises. If not for the sweet baby Jesus their would be no Christmas at all. Enjoy this time, enjoy your families. For the young mommies who are tired and work so hard, tuck away into your hearts these times because the day will come when you look back and can see that these days are the best in your life.   May all of us do something to relieve the misery of others in less fortunate countries. buy coats for the freezing, food for the starving, buy someone a goat or some chickens or help provide clean water for a community. I wish that at Christmas instead of buying each other a lot more stuff we don't need we would focus on those whose needs are dire and do something for them. We could do a lot for the world each one of us.

 God bless you all! Merry Christmas!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

This N That

HOW....Dee! Did ya hear Minnie Pearl? Instead of wearing a hat with tags I have jewelry with tags. I have been busy getting my display of Premier jewelry (proudly made in TEXAS!) organized and also getting a presentation that I feel comfortable with.  The next show I do I'll take some pictures. I think you'll like it! It's  been a challenge to book shows but the shows I have given have been fun. I learned a lot from the first one and each one teaches me more about how to do it better. The main thing is for the hostess and her friends to have fun!
I will enjoy making some money too. I am still recovering my investment. I got a great deal on real black velvet at Hobby Lobby and some decorative wire tree stands, some lights, some bling and then all the sparkleys; are you feeling it?

It's not all glam around here though. I have been tackling fur balls that look like tumbleweeds and little piglets in the pigsty. Mess, dust, grime, more mess.  When the mom gets out of commission for a LONG time the dwelling begins to take on the feel of a barn.  Letting the puppy jump on the bed wasn't too bad before he got to 70 pounds, now he can bust the springs. He sounds like a horse galloping when he runs his "hooves" pound the dirt, and then track it into the house.  I plead temporary insanity for picking oatmeal frieze carpet. Drugs mess you up prescription or not.

Hum and my other news is that I ordered my grand girl in the snow a warm coat and some very cute waterproof snow boots. Charged it courtesy of HSN. Of all the times in my life to rationalize the use of credit, keeping that girl from freezing seems reasonable.
I just can't even begin to think about Christmas. There are 6 weeks until Christmas. I don't want to shop,  decorate, or do any of it. Just call me Eb.  My idea of a great Christmas this year would be to go to all the ballet's and musicals and just enjoy.  My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving because it isn't commercialized very much although the stores are sure trying. We have decorations for everything.  I saw Christmas decorations out in late August when it's hot! I'm tired of being rushed. The week after Christmas the Valentines go out. I am feeling like stepping off the band wagon and just enjoy the way I want too. I had hoped to get some sewing done. The 6 week target on that ought to light a fire under me. It's all I can do to get done what I have going on now. Don't even say one word about that un-sentence, it's the drugs I tell ya!

I have a new toy. A lap top. Midge won it and was going to sell it on Craig's List because she didn't need it. I told my Hunny to buy it for me in an off hand way and he DID! I don't have it set up yet but when I get it done and buy one of those air conditioning lap pillows I just may be a regular blogger again!

Fall is officially here the trees are gorgeous, the air is cooler but still lots of sun shine. I'm ready for soups and pies, if someone else would do the work. I hope you are all enjoying this great time of year. Did anybody else besides me eat way to much candy after Halloween? I never get it right. Last year I ran out of candy so this year I bought candy and had 2 door knockers. We finished off the last peanut butter snickers bars tonight.  If I could swing my hips walking up the stairs I could probably do the bump with the walls.....just sayin.

Friday, October 28, 2011


 I woke up this morning to cool air and rain. It was 80 yesterday and still felt like sweaty summer but in a nice way. It stays warm in the South for so long.  Watching your blogs over the years the reality of how cold most of the states are has become a living picture.  Reading your posts I often think, "How can they be getting cold so soon it just got warm there?" I think about how each one of us has  some kind of struggle where we are.  Some of us are too cold, and some of us sweat.

Do you remember when you were young hearing old people talk about their bones? My grandparents did. They talked about old bones and rheumatism. My Grandpas hands were gnarled up and they were the hands of a gardener. He was the one who toured me through his massive gardens showing me cute surprises and asking me what I liked. I loved him. I loved those walks in the gardens. It was my first experience as a child of quiet communing. I enjoyed my time with him because he settled me, he quieted me and we walked and talked together. I suppose you could say my grandpa treated me like a person when I was a child.

This year is almost over and I am thinking of how long we have been here, almost 12 years.  For twelve years I have been miserable in the long hot summers with the deluge of bugs, until this year.  This year I made a conscious decision to avoid negative thinking. I haven't accomplished this but I'm working on it.  I can't take credit for this but I heard somewhere, "My mind is like a bad neighborhood, I should never go there by myself."  I love that. Who to take with me into the hood? I can't think of anyone better than the Holy Spirit.  Murmuring is serious to God. Really when we are complaining we are in God's face about our circumstances. The current trend today is to talk about God as Daddy and all the love and grace. That is true, but God is also God, high, holy, and lifted up.  In His physical presence we would be undone.  The appearance of angels causes men to fall down as if dead, how much more so the God of the universe?

That helps me with being a whiner, complainer, negative thinker; when I realize that really I am letting God know in a most disrespectful way that I do not believe.   You might be thinking, "How did she jump to that?"  If I complain about my circumstances then I am not believing and resting in God's sovereign plan for my life.  He is either all knowing and all powerful or not. He is either on His throne and I am in the palm of His hand or not. I either solidly believe He has a purpose and plan for my individual life or not.

That's why the Israelites were in so much trouble in the wilderness. They kept looking at where they were instead of who God is. They forgot about all that He had done before and complained. The consequences for that were a 40 year march instead of a 6 month trip.  Do you think that maybe God takes unbelief seriously?

Each week that I teach my small ladies Bible group I grow in amazing leaps. I don't understand why God is blessing me with this. He is faithful and I am not. Each week He takes my meager portion of study, my two fish and a piece of bread and He makes a feast for all of us.  Jumping in to serve has taken me to places I never thought I'd go.  The Word of God is more alive to me than it's ever been and I am applying it to my life.

My mind is a hood and I don't need to go there alone. My circumstances are not important.  My focus CAN be a sacrifice of praise. When is the last time you really thought about what that means? A sacrifice of praise.  Sometimes we are praising God when what we really want to do is a have big bitch session. We have the choice about what we offer. The miracle happens when we offer the sacrifice.

When we enter that throne room and come into the presence of the Lord of all, and praise, something happens to us. His presence comes upon us like a soft cloud of peace and light drifting gently, enveloping and comforting, it's so soft quiet....holiness.  A place to rest, a place of quiet holy prayer.
There in His presence fears vanish, problems shrink, complaints depart, we are strengthened, and hearts are mended. When we go out from there we are ready to be wherever we are. We are ready to go wherever we need to go. We can endure whatever it is, cold, heat, pain, sorrow, or stress, because we do not go alone and that is reason enough to praise.

Monday, October 17, 2011

It Just Doesn't Look Like Much.

Howdy. I am still a part of planet Earth.

Some days I feel like I'm working on a sinking ship.
I've been so busy. It's ridiculous how long it takes me to get anything done. 
It takes so long there isn't energy to write about it.
Or it's embarrassing to admit it, or both.
Seriously, did I just wake up one day and become an old lady?

I moved back upstairs. I wish you could really see this color, it's just gorgeous and the photo doesn't do it justice. I rolled the walls and my friend cut in with the brush. It's amazing what I can do now compared to six months ago, sort of. 
YES, it put me in bed for a dang week. 
I should NOT have done it but it felt so good to pretend that there is something normal about me. 

 This is the new love in my life. I used to work 12 hours a day. Now I try and work 12 hours a week split into 3 afternoons. I have not had the best attendance record. A real job would have fired me. BUT my girlfriend loves what I do with her sweet little mama so much she doesn't care!  Works for me.

I love taking care of her. She can walk so NO lifting. I get her up bathe her, dress her, give her a pedicure a  couple of times a month and then we go into the kitchen. Oh yeah and I do her hair.
We listen to music while I cook our breakfast. I get to eat too!
After we eat we play puzzles, identify words, play matching games with cards, try and count, talk, cut up and giggle and just have fun.
That's her "therapy."
She is severely demented but her response has been outstanding.
She is talking in short sentences, smiling, laughing, and responding.
IF she is upset which is very rare she babbles like she's speaking in tongues and I just reassure her.
She's sweet and pleasantly confused. 
A perfect patient.
Truthfully I don't know WHO is getting blessed more.
I think it's me.
I make a small amount of money which helps us get gas and a bit of food. 
I don't do it for the money,I used to make that much in 3 hours.
I used to work 12 hours a day. Repeating myself again.
How did I do that?
Seriously, I can't even comprehend doing that much work in day, or a week or a month.

Now I work for the love and the pure joy of it. 

My gardening has changed as well. How do you like this? It's all from the dollar store and doesn't require any water or fertilizer. It took me FOREVER  to just clean up the side yard. Argh....the frustration is intense. To work 10 years establishing an amazing garden and not be able to keep it up is just gross. I want to move. The timing isn't right yet but maybe in the future.

The kids are doing great and they are so much more comfortable in the big room. We tried to have David use the utility room as his bedroom and that just didn't work. We were back to putting the vacuums in any available corner and stepping over toys to wash clothes was too much for me! Man do I remember those days. I think one of the hardest parts of getting laundry done when you are a young mother is the stepping over, clearing a path, wiping snotty noses, and answering the phone..... on your way to the washer; where you never get.

There are some advantages to age.

Here's my latest project or part of it. I am PURGING! Barfing up stuff, gobs of it. I have too many books, too many pictures, too much wall art, an excess of baskets, 3 sets of dishes, and all the stuff my grandmother asked me to "take care of".  

I am over it!

IF I have learned anything in this process it is that too much stuff is a ball and chain around my neck. Yes Ebeneezer Jacob Morley was right.

My brother is coming to get a bunch of Grandma's things my family isn't interested. Then the burden will be his. I haven't even really bought my own style of things because I have so much from other people. I am grateful but I just don't care about keeping all of this. It's work to have things. They have to be dusted and they take up space. I am just over it!

I'm repeating myself. It's a symptom of dementia. I sometimes think my best meeting of the minds is with my sweet demented lady. Hummmmmmmm. I have remembered recently though that I have a blog and I used to write on it, and I liked it. A short moment of clarity and a brief window of time. I am on vacation this week.  The plan is to pack up everything I don't want and get it out of here! and post.

OK the SQUIRREL. I kept the squirrel for 3 weeks. My cats and my dog wanted to eat her.
Yes, this 66 pound handsome boy really wanted a squirrel snack.  Aint he a handsome boy?
 I kept her by herself unless I could guard the cage because it's a lot of stress to feel like a little hamburger with feet. I don't know if squirrels have the brains to realize that a cage keeps them safe. Really.
I found a wild life rescue and turned her over to them. I didn't want to release her and have her come over for a bottle or a slice of banana and become cat food, nawww not.
However the story does have a funny twist to it. I said I thought I had a 5 or 6 week old baby squirrel that was still taking a bottle. When I dropped her at the vet they told me I had a much older squirrel than that. She was a "teenager". MY question was, "Then why is she still taking a bottle?' After all she was still very small and I was feeling like a perfect idiot!


 BECAUSE you are giving it to her!

Naturally, the story of my life, spoil everything in my touch, spoiled rotten.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Squirrel-y News Flash

There are no AA batteries in the house. There are pictures on my camera that I cannot upload. Pictures of a pocket sized baby squirrel in my pocket. I now have a little nipple on a 10 cc syringe to feed a baby squirrel with. I have to admit that it's fun. Peanut makes a lot of cute noises and can suck that syringe down in a flat hurry. I suppose squirrel mothers are pretty busy and move pretty fast. Those little fellas learn to eat quick!!

We checked on the internet about what to feed him and how much. Fortunately for us this baby is about 6 weeks and fully furred up so he stands a good chance. We actually started out with two but one had been bitten by the cat and didn't make it. Cats have a lot of bacteria in their mouths.  I really can't get too excited about going to a vet with a squirrel. Sorry if that upsets you but I think we need to have rational perspective about critters.  Poor Roman got into a red ant hill and has one very sore foot and we did go to the vet for him, poor boy was going crazy from that! AWFUL!  You have to be higher up on the food chain to go to the vet around here.

Lest you think I am heartless I tried everything to save that little fella, even shaved a tiny fraction off of Romans antibiotic to give him a chance.   I put a heating pad under their cage and let him curl up on the nice soft bedding and he passed quietly in his sleep.

Squirrels falling out of their nests too soon is probably one of natures population control measures, which by the way doesn't work around here. We are INFESTED with squirrels. We just happened to find these. It wasn't hard when they were screaming because of cats. Peanut was not hurt. He is on his 3rd day and very lively. He has a good appetite. It's so funny to see how fast they can eat and when they are full that's it, DONE! He is very cute holding onto the bottle nipple and sucking away. All babies hold their bottles, in this case a syringe. Peanut takes 6 cc's at each feeding. Amazing isn't it? The website suggested adding a bit of banana to the formula and that was the ticket. He isn't ready for solids yet and won't eat a little piece of banana. The website said to give him formula soaked monkey biscuits and little bits of fruit one at a time just like a baby, when he's ready for solid food. I am grateful it can go potty by itself and I don't have to rub it's little nether regions with a wet cotton ball to get it to go. You have never in your life seen such tiny little poops.

Am I rational to be carrying around a squirrel in my shirt pocket?

Why do I have a squirrel nursery set up in my room?

Why am I syringe feeding a rodent with a tail?

BECAUSE IT'S a BABY and it's CuTe..... no other reason.

I'd say it's hormones but my ovaries are gone. I guess somethings never leave a woman's system.

Peanut also likes to snuggle down into the bottom of a sock and go to sleep. He loves Jennifer she talks like a squirrel to him. He loves riding in my pocket. His cage is big and full of that soft shaved bedding. He loves to burrow under it and run across, or climb around the cage. I was thinking we should put a tree branch in there for him to climb on. Maybe toys?

I wonder though what will happen when he grows up because if we try to release him here and he comes to visit, two cats will greet him. Not a good plan. Think think think.

I can just imagine a squirrel tearing up my entire house. The kittens gave the couch it's battle scars.
Oh well one day at a time.

This video is more like Peanut, he's part piggie.

How about a wild story? A true story! An AMAZING story.

Yesterday Heather sent Papa a text. The text read the following words.

Just woke up to a nekkid woman in my room trying to steal my Jujitsu robe.

Pa texts back, "Are u dreamin?"

Heather texts back, " No the cops are here she's been in a lot of houses up and down our street. She already had a pair of my shoes.   The cops are trying to cover her up but she won't let them."

Pa calls Heather, this is too much information for texting.

Apparently this woman was very high on some kind of drugs. She had a big stash of stuff from the neighbors. It's pretty hard to get away with a crime when you are nekkid in public in broad daylight.

Heather told the cops that in the South someone would say to them, " bless your heart". They had to smile at that.  Some days there just isn't enough pay for the job you do.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Never Forget

No we will never allow a Mosque to be built on this sight as a trophy to the death of these people.
Americans died ten years ago calling out for God.  Ten years later the mayor of New York is allowing no clergy and no prayer to commemorate the day.

That is another shame.

Friday, September 9, 2011

I'm Here

I feel like a who in whoville, on a little dust speck. I'm heeerrrrrrreeeeeeeeee. bloggin has almost fallen off of my radar. I can't sit!

Can you believe that? How can you blog is you can't sit? I am sitting right now and there is a pole in one of those billowy cheeks, can't see it but sure do feel it. Not pleasant.
HOWEVER I am  endeavoring to re enter the land of the purposeful. The once completely empty calendar is beginning to have activities in it on a regular basis. Wowzas. Now I know most of you cannot relate to that at all because your calendar is chock full of too much. Be careful what you complain about because an empty calendar is only a relief for a short time. I think most of us humans like stimulation of some kind.  We are created to work, and we work to create. I am trying to do a bit of work.

The best thing is teaching a Bible study at church. I have been teaching in Jude and what a book that is! Teaching makes one dig deeper and we have been in this book for 6 weeks. I am learning so much. It is a joy to do it.

and  ta da da!!! I have a cute little old lady to help out a bit. Not a lot of hours at all and no lifting but it is such a joy for me. My friend was struggling taking care of her 96 year old mama who suffers from dementia but is otherwise very healthy. I started out by helping her now and then and giving her phone advice. Then I went for one afternoon and now we try for 3 afternoons a week about 12 hours. Absolutely stunning when you think that was my shift for ONE DAY. I've only done the 12 hours once.
This week is my second time. my back gave out, of course. The little I do is so enjoyable for all of us.
My friends home is so peaceful and so full of grace. I look forward to just going over there. I have thought a lot about what happens to a home that is prayed in the way hers is. The home becomes a holy sanctuary where the presence of God dwells. If there is nothing in your home that would quench the spirit of God, then the spirit remains.

This week I heard a profound statement on the radio. We need to live as supernatural beings in a human world; instead of living like humans in a supernatural world. BECAUSE we are immortal and this world is not. Chew that for awhile.

That's my little update. My family is fine. I hear from Kayla often but she is not ready to come home. I wonder about all the homeless people. how many of them have families that wish they would return? Why is it that some people in our culture cannot find acceptance except in the culture of being homeless?
It breaks my heart.

I am ashamed that I have still not sent a new baby gift to the new grandson he is a beautiful fat cherub.
I have a little pair of booties but I want something else to send along with that. Something handmade.

Would you believe I haven't taken hardly a picture? Life is changing again and it is good.
Except for the sitting issue. That makes it hard to read and write on a computer. I miss all of my bloggy buddies. I really do and I wonder what is going on. It takes me what feels like forever just to catch up on one blog. I have quite a few that I like to read so I am WAY WAY WAY behind.
However I am saving up for a little notebook or something I can type on while reclining, and then I'll be back full steam ahead at a slow pace, something I can manage. GAH what a bore!

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


We have been sweltering in the heat. With 97% humidity a person can break a sweat inside the house. Either that or I am having uber hot flashes. This week the humidity dropped to the 80's and it feels like paradise.
My week has been very interesting. Roman got sick and had a big BLOW out of diarrhea in my Hunny's man cave. not once, twice, but three times. Seventy pound Roman still lives. I was looking into adopting a beautiful basset mix and I had to shut up about it. Even I know when I am just licked.

Ginger: Basset Hound, Dog; Pelahatchie, MSEnlarge Photo
This is Ginger isn't she beautiful?

It's time to start cleaning up the yard. It's a jungle out there. It's been too hot to do anything at all so I am way way way behind.
I have been trying to catch up on your blogs. Watching Heather move to the middle east has been cool. I'm green with envy over the beautiful clothes she is buying there. GORGEOUS

and then reading about Connie's traumatic fire!!!!  and while your there read her post "Seeing Red" she explains how to have your e mail address in your return so it's not "no reply to comment" you don't want to know how many replies I typed a response to that went into cyber space. My brain is blonde. I'll give proof by the end of this post.

Our newest grandson born one day before my birthday. He actually missed being on my birthday by a few hours. Got some chubba cheeks on him doesn't he? Another one out in California what a heartache to have so many babies out there. This one is named Caleb. I can smell his little newborn smell in my imagination.

Oh and Katie has a big fun surprise.
Her mom is going to be cooking with Ree and she is going too. I told Katie if she doesn't make something I might be sick. She is a fabulous cook in her own right. Her sourdough bread's are beautiful and she makes tons of home made gourmet foods.

I'm sittin with a little old lady a couple of afternoons a week and luvin it! It's about all I can manage but it gives me a pick me up mentally. I'm also teaching bible Study on sunday mornings to a small woman's class.
Jojo broke her ribs in a fall and that about killed me to read and I am really behind catching up on Trudy--my sweet bluebird. I don't know why but I am just struggling to keep up with life. I think of ideas to write about and don't. I see pictures to take and don't. I still can't sit for hardly any time since the trip to the beach. Riding in the car really set my hips back.

Jen has been rearranging and redecorating the whole house and it looks fabulous. No, I haven't taken pictures.
No news from me usually means I don't feel good. I would rather blog when I'm up! So there you have it. People are moving and changing and having all kinds of struggles so who am I to whine? PASS.

Focusing on what is good and making that lemonade out of lemons is still what I think makes us better it helps me and I can be the biggest sourpuss of all. Except for being with my daughter which can be so hilarious. The following is a real life joke.
The two of us went shopping at the mall. When we were ready to exit we went up to the glass doors to leave. There are 4 sets of double doors there. Jennifer walked up to the first door and stood there waiting and nothing happened. I followed her. She moved to the left to the second set and stood there, nothing happened and I followed her. At the third set she started getting upset and said, "MOM all these doors are broken how we get out of here?" At which point my brain kicked into gear and I said, "push it." It opened. Jen took a rapid glance over her shoulder to see if anyone had seen us and said, "Let's get out of here!" Yes this is true, and yes we laughed. We laughed for three days and now I am laughing again. Sometimes real life is better than anything.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Why We Love the Beach

 Dauphin Island has a plethora of hermit crabs.
 There is also evidence of Katrina that is sharp rusty iron.
 Oyster shells.

 Don't you want to dip your toes in?

 It's still fun to sink in the sand no matter how old you are.

 This little dude is just truckin.  I love the sea!!!!!

 Prettiest diamonds of all.
 Beach houses for rent.

 Someone's beach bathroom went into the ocean and is coming back again.
 Crab hole!
 Gotta love drift wood.

This pelican on the pole became quite the bird model he really showed off his moves for us.

 I had worried he might fly away. no worries mate.

 My college friend we met when our girls were 4 years old.
 When we quit paying attention to Mr. Pelican he started moving around so we would take his picture again. Happy to oblige!

 awhhhhh feels so nice.

Sporty flippers and a good pedi! She definitely has on the beach theme.
We had a great time. I have more pics but this is enough for today.
It is so hot out I hope everyone is finding ways to keep cool.