Thursday, June 30, 2011

Real Life

 Summer repeats itself.
 Everything happens all at once.
This has been my life. The last two weeks has been all about putting up food. 27 quarts of salsa, more pickles and blueberry jam. My kitchen has been in industrial mode.

I'm fortunate to be able to do it! I have had some kind of weird thing with being dizzy and nauseated for a couple of weeks. I always think of Meniere's first but then the Hunny and my  daughter felt off too. Maybe there is a virus running around?  When I worked in the hospital I always heard about what was floating around in the masses but now I am out of the loop.

My arm is recovering. The little improvements feel like major milestones. Using my arm and hand to work in the kitchen is just amazing. I still have to be in control of my life, I couldn't punch a time clock.
However! The progress is more than I ever hoped for. I can wash my hair with two hands and shave my legs with both. Isn't that tricky? Might sound boring to some but if you knew what I've been through, this is a big deal. When you are right handed and can't use your right hand or arm at all; washing your hair is the Olympic gold medal.

The world is full of projects, most of them in my head. Moving forward everyday and giving thanks for what gets done is the lesson in this valley. If I have learned anything through this it is to SEE.
I feel like an Avatar saying , "I see you." Stopping to see, slowing down enough to really look at life is the gift in this.  My life is so slow I would drive a techie completely insane in less than 5 minutes.
No cell phone
No schedule
Empty calendar

Just today.

Today is all I have. It's all any of us have. Each day we manage and have our needs met. Each day we are full, I still haven't lost weight. Food arrives at the house. Jobs happen just in time. The sun shines and the grass grows. The birds sing and I listen. The wind brushes by and I look at where it comes from, which way it's blowing and enjoy the wind chimes as it passes by.

I think one of the devils biggest tricks is to keep people so busy they can't think. When you are running all the time you feel harassed and out of control. It's easy to yell at the people you love the most because you feel wound up in knots.  It's a drag. My favorite motto has always been, "I either have time and no money, or money and no time." It's been true in my life.  I don't think people have to quit work to slow down but we can take an inventory of our calendars and life styles asking if such and such is really worth it. I'm finding out how to make a lot happen with a little.

When I was a teenager we had a dial telephone. There was no such thing as an answering machine or call waiting. If you were on the phone and someone tried to call, they got a busy signal. I used to get in trouble for that. Tying up my mom's phone for an hour blabbing about nothing to another teenage friend.
We had 5 channels on the TV set, and plenty of shows to watch. How much more do you need when Star Trek came on and the Man From UNCLE. There were funny shows and lots of movies. I never felt deprived.

 I do feel deprived if my husband and I are driving some where and right in the middle of a great conversation he answers his cell phone. Car trips are for conversations. Cell phones are causing everything from possibly brain cancer to bees dying out. I am happy not to own one.

Cell phones are cool with all the apps and stuff but they cost you more than money.  They cost you time and make you multi task.  More immediate answers, immediate action, hurry hurry hurry----rats race. A fast pace makes life fly by in a blurr, it's hard to see.

These are just thoughts, ideas that I can reflect on because my life as it was has ceased to exist. This is a new life. Each day unfolds based on how I am physically and what there is to do. My biggest fears have never materialized. I am learning to trust God. To really trust God. When self reliance goes out the back door there is nothing else. Hope is replacing worry. Trust is replacing self. Gratitude is replacing want.
And I know I am just at the very beginning of discovering what life is really about.


joanne said...

I love your new attitude...your faith, your trust, your hope. I am so very far away from where you are in this journey but I am taking baby steps and have no doubt that I will find my way..;j

Bluebird49 said...

You are just something else, Sweetheart! I love your attitude.

your word verification was

choises (I know it's not spelled exactly right--like choices--but we all have them--and you're making some very good ones.)

Mental P Mama said...

So true. Every last word. Enjoy your bounty!

Rosie_Kate said...

Drooling over your tomatoes! I just can't wait!

So glad you're improving! Praise God! But while you're gaining the ability to shave your legs, I'm loosing the ability to shave mine (belly getting in the way!). :-)

Debbie said...

I so love your new attitude and hope it wears off on me. Although I am still unable to shave my legs with my right hand. I can't eat with it, do hardly anything with it, and I hope soon I will get the relief you are experiencing. I am sure it will one day come, but tired of waiting!!! LOL..
Your tomatoes look so good! I couldn't plant any this year and sure miss them. Hopefully next summer I can.
Keep up the good work!!! It's so encouraging to me!!!

God Bless~

Kat said...

This is the perfect post for me. Really. I have been feeling so out of sorts lately, and I think it is all the go, go, go. Too busy. And with what? Nothing really. It just seems our household is always madness. This is such a reminder to me to just try and SLOW DOWN. Enjoy. It is why I always love summer so much. I feel we can FINALLY slow down. :)

SO GLAD to hear you are feeling as well as you are. What a BLESSING!!!! :)

Chris H said...

I know what you mean about cell phones... they intrude on life so much! BUT... they also help you keep in touch with loved ones and friends, and for that I am thankful.
Love all the fruit 'n' veges you are working with.

Karen said...

Your garden is really producing! And 7 gallons of blueberries! Girl, I'm all sorts of drooling here. I love that you preserve all this goodness for winter months.

Khris said...

What lovely friends to share with you...a lovely looking crop of veges and blueberries...yummo...hugs Khris