Saturday, April 19, 2014


Do you ever stop and take an inventory of what you have been doing with your life? We get so busy with routines and technology all the stuff that sucks up our time and steals our lives. It helps to just stop, to think, to take a few days to look at where our time goes because we only have one life here and good stewardship requires that we do not waste it.
I have been thinking a lot about stewardship. I need to get my life in better order, keep my checking account straight, control my spending control my eating; share with the poor, feed the starving. It's important because why do I assume that I'll always be free and fed and have a few bucks to spend? We take that for-granted.

It's the week we reflect on the passion of Jesus Christ his death, burial, and resurrection. I am praying for resurrection power in my life and in the life of my friends and family. Jesus didn't come to leave us in chains. We wrestle with a lot of different kinds of bondage, unforgiveness, inferiority, guilt, greed, malice, coveting, depression, anger, lust; we get stuck in our past, we lose today because we are so busy tightening the chains like Marley and Scrooge forging heavy steal links that can drag us to hell. It's all so stupid. I get why humans are metaphorically referred to as sheep in the Bible, because sheep are really stupid animals. They really need help. Without a shepherd sheep just get picked off and killed. They die easy, they die of fright. They will follow each other around right off cliffs if they happen to be in a stampede of fear, or they will die of thirst if they can't find still water because they are afraid to drink out of water that moves or splashes. We are sheep. We don't get to even be dogs who are intelligent and capable, loyal and lovely; it seems so unfair. I don't want to be a sheep but everything I do points to it. The only way I can steer clear of trouble is by following my sweet shepherd.  It is so easy to get side tracked and follow other sheep around! It is so easy to fall into stupid ruts.

This week I am away from home. I am visiting my bff and we are consoling each other because two months ago mama went to heaven. We know where she is but it's sad that she is not here only because we love her. We wouldn't bring her away from Jesus for two seconds but it's so strange how her presence permeates this place. I keep thinking I'll hear her call my name or turn the corner and see her smiling in the bed with her little hat on.
So funny and precious this lady had more personality than you can imagine she was a riot. We told her our pain pills would sell on the street for $20 a pill and she said ,"I'll drive." Pretty funny and of course we didn't but it isn't your typical old lady response, because she wasn't typical not in any way.
Grief is a tough valley to travel through and my friend has been having a rough trip.

 Recently I packed up little Bob and sent him home to his family because it's time.

 He just turned 90 yesterday and he needs more now than his neighbors can provide. People get more like babies as they age they need mama's again. They need someone to care for them, feed them, tell them what to do and hold their hands when they cross the street. They get afraid when their mama's aren't there and they need help when they take a bath or go to the bathroom. They get so precious and little again. The very old and needy pull my heart right out of my chest, I am compelled to mother them. My little  friend Bob is getting where he needs a mama round the clock now and I have a family, a husband. It was time for him to go to his family and be cared for by them. So we packed up everything he needed in two suitcases and put him on a plane which is a story in itself. I told the attendants he is deaf and he can't hear you. She said, " he's fine he knows what I said". So I demonstrated that I know what I am talking about because Bob just smiles so cute at everything and agrees with whatever is going on. I asked him, " Are you flying to China"? He smiled ,"YES! fine let's go". The SWA lady cracked up and admitted that she better use the tablet and large pen he was carrying to communicate with him. I got an escort pass to take him to the right gate to make sure he didn't go to China. I'll miss him my little baby papa.

I rested one day and got in the car and drove 620 miles to the valley of grief. My girlfriend has been crying for 2 months and stress starving. I did the same thing when my mom was sick and died. I weighed 103 pounds when I came home knowing I wouldn't see her again HERE.  We have been having a relaxing time, watching movies, reading blogs, drinking tea, and talking until the wee hours of the morning.
I told her I would come and she could boss be around to her hearts delight. She loves to fix me up, tell me what to wear and how to do my hair. "I have to admit it's been a big improvement. She really ought to make people over it's a gift and it's her art. I am so stubborn it takes a lot for me to admit that I don't know everything; one of the things I have been praying for---to become an ex-knowitall. Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord and He will lift you up.

Here we are and this has been rich time with thought, reading good writing, reminiscing and delighting in life. I feel a spark kindling in my heart that I want to use life well and richly. To leave behind the time wasters, like Facebook and TV. To connect in meaningful ways and develop the art of living well.  It truly is Resurrection weekend. Tomorrow we are going to go to church and worship and pray. My prayer is for hope to be renewed and for comfort for my friend. I am so very thankful for the shepherd of my soul. I am so very thankful for this life.

I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; the life which I now live in the flesh I live by FAITH in the Son of God,  who loved me and gave Himself up for me. Gal. 2 :20.

We love because He first loved us.


Chris H said...

Is this a new blog Karen? Are you going to keep this one up?

Karen Deborah said...

old one and just going to try and get back to it!