Watch Out I Am Learning.

Where do you bury dead computers? The mother board is gone. We brought home my still shiny very pretty 17 inch 3 year old HP laptop with the hard drive removed and some plans for making it a paperweight. This is disgusting.

On a brighter note I am reading some very good books. My new copy of "Nourishing Traditions" by Sally Fallon arrived today. I am already enthralled by the evidence she is laying out, the relationship between dietary practices and disease. Twelve years of nursing and watching people die of cancers and other chronic diseases has taught me a great deal. I can't help but notice that almost all of these sick people are hopelessly addicted to diet soft drinks and sugar. They eat a large amount of processed junk foods even while they are in the hospital. It is so hard for me to watch them continue to poison themselves, and add to it with chemical drugs dripped directly into their veins. These are the fruits of the beliefs that we are just a composite of chemical interactions.

We are taught in the universities courses on chemistry, biology, and physiology that we are just the end product of chemical reactions. The premise of our medicine simply stated, is that we measure the values from lab work data and adjust the findings. The main components in critical care medicine are calcium, magnesium, sodium, potassium, and pH balance. Every day we draw the patients blood and check these values and adjust their Iv drips to regulate what is not in the normal range.

The problem is that people can feel very ill and have normal values. The people in the ICU are people who are dying and we are usually too late. So why is it that we don't look harder at the relationship between what we take in and how we are feeling?

The current recommendations for a healthy diet are not right. In fact a lot of what we are doing is flat wrong. Americans are desperate to feel better and are trying on their own to figure it out. Parents are totally freaked out about the rise in autism. They aren't vaccinating their children for fear that immunizations are the cause. But even with the rise of children who are not immunized we have skyrocketing cases of autism. The research doesn't lay the blame there. So where is the blame? What is killing our kids? What is making them sick? I cringe every time I see a baby bottle of coke or chocolate milk. How about kids that grow up on Happy Meals? How about the breakfast table of sugar cereals and a soda? Something has to give.

For a long time I have thought that society paid a big price to take the mother and the father from the home. We were told that the professionals could do a better job. The clothing manufactures could clothe us better. The food processors could feed us better. The school system could educate us better, and the government could make our decisions for us better. If we would just abandon our homes and join the work force our lives would be great. We would be less stressed and wealthier, we would be the products of the technological age.

Well, jury, what do you think? Are you less stressed? Are you healthy? Is your family better off in the hands of the professionals? Has the convenience of fast food been paid for by doctor bills? Are you suffering from chronic fatigue? Is your brain fuzzy?

I would suggest that we need to take a good look at the whole picture. We are sick, and the changes we need have to strike at the very fundamental attitudes we have adopted into our culture. We have been riding along in the age of science and technology, abandoning all the ways of our forefathers. But guess what? Our great grandparents were much healthier than we are and they were right, cod liver oil and sunshine are good for you!

If you are still here then I commend you for getting through my treatise. I have a lot of passion about the relationship between diet and disease and you may just be in for a few of these while I am studying this book. Remember my motto, this is where you get Fresh Fixins and you never do know what your going to get.

What Say You?

We have ONE working computer in the house and it's a MAC. Seems to be a pretty good machine. Are any of you bloggers out there techies or married to techies that can recommend a good machine? I may jump ship and get a MAC. I know I don't want VISTA, or another HP ever in my life. Seems like most everything is pretty much a short term investment for big bucks. So speak up.
You know if you leave a comment with that "no reply" on your email I can't write you back. I like to write you back so if you want a comment to your comment put your e mail address in. ( Coffee MAN)
Other news. MY manager doesn't want me back in ICU, he thinks I am a good nurse just not a critical care nurse. Do I agree? --- YES! That is a God thing. I have applied for a transfer, so pray if you pray, and cross your fingers, knees and toes if you don't. I have to go back to work! There are a lot of really BIG bills on my desk, and computer breakdowns, and a kid going to college ( can we say $1,500) just for a JC? BUT my kid is sooooooo happy! She got her driving permit, yeah she is a late bloomer, she graduated, and she is going to college and her whole outlook on life is looking up!
I have not killed my husband. It's his birthday tomorrow and I swear that I will be nice. Even if he is being a total and complete jerk about getting a dog.

So that is it. What kind of computers do you all recommend?

Speaking of Death

My computer died. The Hunny's computer died. The computer MD is a week behind with all his fix it work. Guaranteed to get a person behind in blogging. 

However I just might get some other things done. I ironed everything today that had piled up in the laundry room. Jimmy has a birthday Thursday and he built a wooden box for his truck that he wanted me to slipcover so I am doing that. I had to go to the fabric store....uh oh...may be doing some other projects too.

Kayla started college today, she had plenty of units to graduate and she is excited. We are finally going to get her driving and she is excited about that too. It's great to be young.

I may not get around everywhere I'd like to visit until we get this computer things fixed or buy some new ones. Just when the bills go down a little right? I can't live without a computer, it's like breathing air, I need one.

A Beautiful Day

This is the Natchez Trace. It is part of a national park that runs through all of our state and up into Tennessee. It was a part of the Indian Trails and is set aside land not to be developed. It is really a beautiful ride by car, motorcycle, or bicycle. We were headed up to Kosciusko yesterday. You know about that little town, it's where Oprah Winfrey came from. It is also where a lot of Jimmy's kinfolk live.

Jimmy enjoys the drive. I enjoy the ride we always like to go for rides together, we should get out more often. It's saying something when about the only time you go somewhere is because somebody died. I'm thinkin we should improve on that.

I asked to stop for a few minutes at the reservoir and see the boats, it's always cooler out there by the water, it makes me feel blissful just to look at the view. I would really enjoy going out on a boat ride sometime. We talked about that, renting a boat for a day. Then I can call him Captain Hunny.

It was a perfect day yesterday.

Mississippi can be really gorgeous at different times of the year. Yesterday we had perfect weather with a cool breeze blowing across this huge body of water, blue skies and fluffy pretty cotton candy clouds.

The funeral was held at the First Methodist church of Kosciusko, an old brick church that had beautiful stained glass windows in it. It was lovely. Old Southern towns are always built in a square, the state buildings, court houses and churches will all be close together in a city block. This church is close to the city hall. I like all the bumpy roads and tall curbs that happen from the changes in the clay. Old towns here are interesting and full of character.


This was the inside. I know you are glad that I am sparing you a close up portrait of that open casket. A Southern tradition that is practically sacred, it is expected that you go up and pay your last respects and admire all that paint and thick makeup. The expected comment is that the deceased looks so "natural," natural my foot. They look like a mannequin, not my favorite last memory. I am not one to look and linger over painted up remains. After seeing so many people die I am comfortable with the real deal but I do understand that I am a minority in that area. I just go with the flow.

The service itself was lovely. We sang "Be Thou My Vision," and heard "On the Wings of a Snow White Dove," her daughter read sweet memories about her mother and had the composure to do it and to speak loud enough for us to hear. That takes admirable strength. Then we went out to lunch with them and I ate like a pig, cheeseburger, strawberry milkshake, and Cajun french fries. An all American lunch to end a lovely day, and celebrate a sweet ladies life.

"Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.---what is mortal will be swallowed up by life"
2 Corinthians 4:16-18, 5:4

Great Flippin Fantastic News!!!!!

The good news is I DON'T have to have ANY surgery right now. In fact he said it could have been a "misread" it might be some transient osteoporosis. Keep losing weight, work on the calcium and Vit D get blood flow back in there and maybe it will be alright. He said I could go back to work.

I haven't been able to get in touch with my manager this afternoon. I faxed over the return to work slip. That will be another hurdle to cross but it will be ok!

I am so relieved!! Besides all of this crap I have had a bad respiratory infection and coughing up a lung or a gut or whatever and have been sick as stink. I didn't want to mention that, too much doom and gloom and I could have like zero readers you know?

My whole outlook has brightened considerably! Doctor #2 said the only reason to do the hip replacement is #1 if it fractures and we have no choice or #2 because I have unbearable pain. He said anytime in the next 10 years that you want to have it done. It really isn't bothering me now. It's possible that my little herky jerky moves caused some edema in there. It's also possible that the MRI went overboard on the "read."

All I can say is PRAISE GOD!!!! The plan is to watch and wait and check again in 3 months. Keep losing weight, have lost 11 pounds. Ordered some fancy cod liver/butter oil for bone health and am working on fixing the low VIT D thing, and you know what? In 3 months there may be nothing at all wrong with me! In 3 months I should be able to get off at least 25 more pounds maybe 30. That will take a load off---ha ha that's a joke. Get it? I can live with this!!

Yes sirrrrreeeeeeebob this is my kind of a day. Man I am so ready for some new kind of abuse, let me go to work, being a patient can kill you! Not to mention what it does to your wallet. Let me go, let me at em! I'm ready, I am so ready. Oh Lord Jesus I feel like I have received my pardon from death row, honest to God. No, I am not dramatic at all. I am calm, quiet, and level headed at all times, and totally in control of my emotional response. YEAH RIGHT!!! Can your read shoutin?

Where are my uniforms? I am going to get some high top shoes and look out mama; back in the SADDLE AGAIN!!! whooooooooooooohhhhhoooooooooooooooooooooooo
slaps legs, throws hat, bangs head on desk, falls out, hollers, cries, and shouts some more!!
Yeah buddy that's what I'm talkin bout!!! Keep yo knife to yo-self!
yipppeeee iiiiii oooooohhhhhh yiiiiiippppppeeeeeeiiiiiii aaaaaayyyyyy I'm back in the saddle again! Singing glory glory hallelujah glory glory hallelujah!

Frequent Rain

Have you wondered why it is so hard to take a picture of rain? You can see the drops hit the ground but you cannot see them in the air and yet in this scene the rain is pouring down. These thoughts led me to think about the seen and the unseen.


Sometimes the plans we make get tangled up. What starts out so neat and clear and in a happy arrangement gets cluttered up as life takes it along, but it still works. Just like this little area in my garden has decided to get quite out of hand but it appeals to me so I have left it alone. I call these messes in my garden "happy accidents." The plans I made turned out very differently than I expected but it is alright.

I read something this morning. "I will run the way of Your commandments, when You will enlarge my heart." Ps 119:32

Focus is everything. Where we look, what we look at, if we are looking in at ourselves and the circumstances we face; or if we look out and up in hope and believing.

I had a dream last night. Really it was a nightmare. In the dream I had gone back to work and had two horrible situations to deal with. The other people were sitting down talking and laughing and I felt all the stress that I had experienced in this job. In my dream I thought, "I hate this job." With all that has been going on, my focus has only been on the paycheck not the job.
The dream was a good reminder.

God knows our hearts. He has provided a way of escape from an experience that gave me a great deal of stress and frustration. I am walking a path that I would rather not take but I am not alone.

When I change my focus from the circumstances, to the Savior and how big he is and how faithful, then the rain in my life becomes waters of blessing. It is a storm now but when the sun comes out the rain will have caused the growth to come. The plans laid are changing but just as the garden can produce a happy accident so can my sweet Lord produce good from what seems so evil now, and the good news is, He will.

Pondering Possibilites

This post is going to just be a little update. The place out there is livable once cleaned but that in itself is a huge proposition. Since we don't have the money to invest into it I think we are going to pass. The good part about that was we could have reduced our monthly expenses, in theory, however a very big question would be what kind of problems are out there. It looks like a money pit. It was fun to look at.

Talk about being between a rock and a hard place. I heard from my manager this morning. I don't qualify for anything else at work. They don't have an available desk job. They can't hold my position for me anymore. Time for the resignation letter. Stink. I cried again, but just for a few minutes.

My appointment is on Thursday to consult the surgeon. I have $11,000 in bills on my desk right now just for the feet. We may end up in a trailer. I am trying to keep a positive attitude about this but it isn't easy, in fact it's going to take a major effort on my part. I sure do wish I could skip this. When I am up and moving around during the day my hip really kills me at night, so it has to be done. I just hate it that it is going to take a huge hunk of home equity to pay for it.
We have fallen between the cracks here and don't qualify for anything, so much for government assistance and programs. If my taxes weren't so high I might be debt free right now. We were awfully close. We could see ourselves there in the next 3 years. Instead we are going to go backwards at an alarming rate. I'm sorry I'm discouraged, but this is just plain hard.

I still don't want government health care and stimulus packages. We will figure this out. Our lives may take a big change because of our age and how long we have to work and pay for things but we can manage. We can make it because frugal has become a part of my mind set.

A friend was here and showed me a pair of cute pajamas that she said she gave $40 for. I almost choked. I have reduced my grocery tab at Walmart to that. She wanted to go shopping and I said pass. We drove around in the car and I showed her the sights and took her down to the Old Capitol building museum which is free and she enjoyed that.

We were at church and I saw where a lot of money could be saved in just a few places, raise the thermostat and save on energy bills, change our bulletin to something smaller and not glossy.
My brain is just running along those lines. We have been eating great. I bake bread, and make veggies from the yard and pick up others at the Farmers Market. We missed the fall planting times I think. I was looking at a catalog and saw that pumpkins take 120 days. We don't know what fall crops grow here and when they are supposed to go in. I do want pie pumpkins they are awesome for all kinds of dishes and they are expensive to buy. I make a great pureed soup with coconut milk and ginger.

Who knows maybe we will build a small cabin from scratch out in the country. I am not sure. We have to do something though, we can't just go into thousands and thousands of dollars of debt. Any southern farmers know about fall crops?