Monday, April 26, 2010

Crazy Drivers

So just who is the worst anyway, a man or a woman? Considering this man's story---

A beautiful woman 

In a brand new pearl white
Cadillac Escalade  

Doing 70 mph

With her 
Face up next to her 
Rear view mirror  

Putting on her eyeliner. 
Just how did he see that?

I looked away 
for a couple seconds  ! 
Then returned to watch the lipstick, over those poofy lips.
And when I looked back she was 

Halfway over into my lane, 
Still working on the makeup. 
As a man, 

I don't scare easily.

I lost my composure, and
I dropped

My portable electric shaver  
Which knocked 

The Mac Muffin breakfast
Out of my other hand. 
In all  the confusion of trying
To straighten out the car 

Using my knees to drive 
the steering wheel, 
I knocked 

My Cell phone 
Away from my ear 
Which fell 
Into the large hot coffee  

Between my legs! 
WHICH Splashed, 
And burned 
Big Joe and the boy's,  
Ruined the phone, 
Soaked my pants, 
And disconnected a very
Important call!

Dad gum women drivers
especially when she just drove away.


Anonymous said...

Must not have happened in the South, she would of waved!

Julie Harward said...

Oh boy...I needed this good laugh today...thanks for sharing that....very funny! Come say hi :D

Michelle said...

Way too funny and I agree with Lucy...she would have waved.

Jeanie said...

And in a lot of other parts of the country she would have given him a different kind of wave. That was hilarious.

WudWerkr said...


snicker well its true i guess.

good post i love it

I did almost lose control of my truck once , it sets high up off the ground and i passed "verryyyy slowwwly" a woman taking panty hose off while driving !

btw tell all our friends to go to coffeeshop and see the senior pic

Kat said...

Hahaha! That is funny. But actually not that far from the truth.
I remember when I was just married I had a 45 minute highway commute to work and I actually saw a guy doing about 70 mph while reading a NEWSPAPER that was spread out across his steering wheel. WHA???? SCARY!!!

Mental P Mama said...

LOL...and LOLOLOL @ Lucy!

Twisted Fencepost said...

I'm with Jeannie...around here he would have gotten the Carolina Howdy wave. (the bird)
You know what I mean.