I've been reading a book titled, "Captivating," by John and Stasi Eldredge. John wrote a book about men called, "Wild at Heart." My husband loved it and gave it to Piglet to read. I am somewhat chagrined to admit, I haven't read it yet.
The back cover of Captivating says this;
"Every woman was once a little girl. And every little girl holds in her heart her most precious dreams. She longs to be swept up into a romance, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, to be the Beauty of the story. Those desires are far more than child's play. They are the secret to the feminine heart.
And yet-how many women do you know who ever find that life? As the years pass by, the heart of a woman gets pushed aside, wounded, buried. She finds no romance except in novels, no adventure except in television, and she doubts very much that she will ever be the Beauty in any tale.
Most women think they have to settle for a life of efficiency and duty, chores and errands, striving to be the women they "ought" to be but often feeling they have failed. Sadly, too many messages for Christian women add to the pressure. "Do these ten things, and you will be a godly woman." The effect has not been good on the feminine soul.
But her heart is still there. Sometimes when she watches a movie, sometimes in the wee hours of the night, her heart begins to speak again. A thirst rises in her to find the life she was meant to live- the life she dreamed of when she was a little girl."
The authors develop this idea, that our dreams are the heart of us. Our dreams are what we were created to live for and do. It's an interesting idea. Kind of a which came first, the chicken or the egg question. Does God create us with these desires in our hearts? Are they flesh or are they spirit? It makes sense to me. When I look at the whole counsel of God his attributes and character, it would fall into place that we are designed to fulfill the plan He has for us. Why would He create us with deep longings for a simple country life and then place us in the city? We want our children to develop their talents, we watch them to see what their interests are, what natural abilities emerge, we delight in what they can do. Why wouldn't our heavenly father be the same? Being perfect wouldn't He be even better?
God has created us to live this life. We are here for a purpose. How do we discover what that purpose is, how do we hear his voice speaking?
Another interesting book is by Gary Chapman, "The Five Love Languages of God." He has actually written books for marriage, teens, probably more, on how to apply these love languages to those around you who you love. In the English language we use the word love for so many descriptions. We love food, we love new clothes, we love nice weather, we love a good book, we love our husband. In our culture the whole enchilada is tossed into one pot. We have no finesse, no ways of developing different meanings to talk about love. Chapman proposes that each of us has a primary form of giving and receiving love. We have a "way" that most expresses us and also fulfills us. Where we get into trouble is when our love language and our husbands or our child's is different. If our primary love language is "quality time," and our mates primary language is ,"words of affirmation," we have to understand how to keep each others love tank full. When people express themselves in their language and are not "heard" by someone else, they drift apart. Hard feelings grow and the heart suffers. We have "tanks," like a car holding fuel, and when they run low we get into trouble in relationships. Learning what each others love language is then, can be vital to succeeding in the relationship, any kind of relationship.
Both of these books present different ideas that are blending together in my thoughts. Why do some women live their dreams? Doesn't it take courage to put yourself out there and to take risks towards making a dream come true? Why are some people so much more confident than others? How do people overcome deep rejections and disappointments? Are all men truly created equal?
I began thinking that living and dreaming, begins with love. When a child feels nurtured, special, and wanted they blossom. What happens to those children who never experience that, or worse experience pain at the hands of their would benprotectors? Their loves tanks are not only empty, they are shot full of holes; even if your filling them, they are full of leaks. What happens to the dreams of these? What happens to the little girl who gets teased that she's ugly, whose Beauty does she become?
And this is exactly where God comes into the picture. He says, "I have called you by name, you are mine. I have loved you with an everlasting love." To Him we are a Beauty. To Him, the dream giver, the dreams are significant. He is the Bright Morning Star, the ray of hope in a new dawn. He is the life giver, and the sin bearer. The way maker, and the healer. Without Him there is no dream, no life, no future, no love. With Him, life begins anew, dreams are rekindled, hope refreshed, the holes in our hearts filled, leaks stop leaking, and we begin to soar again.
When I was a young girl I dreamed I could fly. I could feel it, the struggle to reach the heights and then at a certain point I was flying sailing overhead, the world beneath me. These dreams were exhilarating, I longed for them. I would have loved to fly every time my eyes closed. As I grew older they happened less and less. Now they are gone. Perhaps it was the closing of the door to imaginary possibilities. Developing common sense. For whatever reason, that delightful part of childhood has been lost to me. I also have held the desire to live a simple country life since girlhood. The clock is ticking, some kind of biological rhythm that says, hurry, hurry, it is late. That dream is almost hopelessly out of reach.
Why is it that some of us dare to live our dreams and others do not? Is it just a simple twist of fate? Can we really live life as an adventure? To dare to do the stuff of fairy tales and legends, to transcend the ordinary, and live on the edge of spectacular? Perhaps the answer is with our faith. If we will but let go of what we think is so dear and trust God with where He would take us, the life He has created us for. We may yet discover our dreams, our heart may quicken within us once more and thrill to be the Beauty of our story. It could happen.
I love Captivating. Years ago, just after it was released and Wild at Heart had already made a huge difference in my husband's life, I led a summer women's study on Captivating. It changed the thinking of many of us and was part of God teaching me to be the me He made me to be. Wonderful book.
went there... left her a couple messages on her "i got my compute rback. and the lightening post"...she could so be one of my kids!
That was a very thought provoking post. We have Wild at Heart (and, incidentally, the author lives here in the Springs) but I have not read Captivating.
you wrote: I began thinking that living and dreaming, begins with love. When a child feels nurtured, special, and wanted they blossom. What happens to those children who never experience that, or worse experience pain at the hands of their would benprotectors? Their loves tanks are not only empty, they are shot full of holes; even if your filling them, they are full of leaks. What happens to the dreams of these? What happens to the little girl who gets teased that she's ugly, whose Beauty does she become?
It depends on the little girl...at some point in life she has to make a decision...and she has to find it inside and with any luck God is a part of it... she decides that the little song we sang as kids "sticks and stones may break bones but words can never hurt me" is really true in a way...I guess some lies in the individual taking responsibility for their actions and reactions to all that life dishes out... If that little abused girl that i was wanted to wallow in self pity and do nothing I could have and would have garnered the sympathy of all who ever knew me but, in my teens I decided I would not be the victim and that I would darn well be who and what ever I wanted... was it easy? NO WAY have all of my choices been the right ones ?NOPE do I always think first even now? Nope again I am still a very flawed falliable human but, I have something that only God could give me and that is Forgiveness. HIS Forgiveness...I started at 17 and totally believed God hated me so I hated him too... but I still refused to curl up and die even though many times I tried to kill myself (through drinking and drugs) and
Have I told you lately that I love your posts they make me think... ALOT... now I have to stop as I don't want to give away my story... I want to keep it going as it is A year at a time... and year two is probably the best year... the ones coming up are rough... very rough...
love n hugs Laura
Lovely. I have to say my dreams are not what they were when I was little girl but I am currently living my dream. If that makes sense.
I think our dreams change. When I was a little girl I wanted to get married and have children and stay home with those children. Now that 2 are out of the nest, 2 in high school and one in middle school I realize the years of mothering (while at home at least) are almost done. That is why I am going to college. I think it is great to have old dreams fulfilled and then make new ones.
The idea is to provoke thought, and I apreciate each one of these responses.
I loved this post. Every part of it true and thought provoking. My husband and I believe in each other's dreams enough to go to great lengths to make them happen. We believe God gives us dreams, plants them right in your soul and the Holy Spirit prompts you with longing to see them fulfilled. That is how we ended up in Alaska. My dream, my longing--fulfilled. No matter everyone said don't do it! You'll be sorry! What if, what if, what if! I heard and felt the stirring of my spirit for YEARS and vividly lived in Alaska in my dreams.
We believe you must decrease (humble yourself, ask God for help and direction) so God can increase. When that happens you are free to hear his still, small voice whispering exactly what needs to be done to fulfill your dreams, which are really His dreams for your life.
oh, so well said.
To Him we are a Beauty. To Him, the dream giver, the dreams are significant. He is the Bright Morning Star, the ray of hope in a new dawn. He is the life giver, and the sin bearer. The way maker, and the healer. Without Him there is no dream, no life, no future, no love. With Him, life begins anew, dreams are rekindled, hope refreshed, the holes in our hearts filled, leaks stop leaking, and we begin to soar again.
amen amen amen..that was beautiful. Thank you hon...
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