Do you plan your posts? Last night after fever, chills, aches and a night of misery, I do not have any photos or wit to share. This morning after reading your blogs a theme emerged. People are struggling. They are struggling with emotions like depression, temper, doubt, and confusion. People are asking themselves if what they do is valuable to others, are they in the right place? How do we know?
I can only concur and say ditto, me too. My comfort is that I don't stay there. I don't live in that mire.
I was rescued by a man. A man who exchanged my life for his life. He took away my heart of stone and gave me a heart of flesh. He provided me with a sound mind and sent confusion and fear packing.
He washed me clean. He healed my heart, restored my soul, and gave me eyes to see. I was once living in the dark. I am now walking in the light.
Without him nothing works. We are tossed about, unstable, unsure, doubting, feeling fear. Not knowing the truth but seeking for it. Having a semblance of spirituality that is elusive and changing, unsteady like shifting shadows.
God calls us to the deep. Deep what? What does deep mean? Does it mean some kind of Harri Krishna meditations chanting ommmmmmmmmm? What is deep?
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was GOD.
HE was in the beginning with God.
ALL things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being.
In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men.
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.
John 1: 1-5 NASB
Who is the Word? Jesus the Christ. Jesus has always been just as the Father and the Holy Spirit have always been. They are outside of time. Time was created for man back in the beginning.
I started teaching from Genesis in my women's group. I thought I knew this story until I began to study it. Just the first two verses became two lessons. Learning what words mean in Hebrew unpacks a whole nutha level of understanding.....deep calls to deep.
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. God here is Elohim a plural noun. Elohim is the name of strong power, and created is bara meaning to call forth from nothing.
Open thou mine eyes that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law. Ps 119:18
Verse 2 of Genesis.
And the earth was without form, and void; darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters...
read John one again,
Now here is where the story gets very interesting. In 1814 a man named Thomas Chalmers noticed the phrase, "without form and void." without form is the Hebrew word tohu, meaning a ruin or vacancy; void is the Hebrew word bohu, meaning emptiness.
He contemplated a verse from Isaiah: For thus saith the Lord that created the heavens; God himself that formed the earth and made it; he has established it, he created it not in vain, he formed it to be inhabited: I am the Lord; and there is none else. Isaiah 45:18.
Big deal what does this mean? What if you think the theory of evolution is science and don't believe in creation? Every one knows the earth is millions of years old right?
In this verse where God says he did not create the world in vain it is the same word, tohu
God did not create chaos but a cosmos. Everything we study in science is orderly. The earth is exactly so far from the sun, it's rotation an exact speed. Just a small deviation from these specific requirements for life would bring total destruction.
What this verse in Isaiah tells us is that the earth BECAME tohu va bohu something catastrophic happened between verse 1 and verse 2 of Genesis. This is called the gap theory. Some great catastrophe occurred leaving the earth in this state of darkness. The word darkness here chosek suggests black holes masses so large light cannot escape.
"I saw Satan falling like lightening from heaven." Luke 10:18 Lucifer the chief angel whose very being was music rebelled and took one third of the angels with him.
What the Hebrew words suggest is that an epic battle, a great war of spiritual beings happened. How much time passed between the verses? Maybe millions of years? Maybe enough to say to those who study the earth that we agree that the earth is very old. That yes some epic disaster occurred and it fits right in with the word of God.
So what? Why does this matter? It matters because from the very beginning God is providing revelation. We can skim the surface or dig deeper. The deeper we dig the more we marvel at the mind of God knowing we barely understand. We also can realize something here from what is not said. God could have revealed to us exactly how the world was made. He could have provided every detail but he did not. What is important to God he repeats. In the first chapter of Genesis we see the unity, the personality and power of God from the very first verse.
What God does reveal to us is our origin, created in his image. This is what he elaborates on and the story of us is amazing.
Would you like to hear more? My close friend thought I should have two blogs. She advised me that I would lose my friends if I write these things. Will you leave or will you consider? Have you ever heard this before? Does it interest you? What if I write about my studies once a week?
I am finding that as I study this it calls to me. I want to know more. I think about these things meditate on things. As I do this something in me is changing. The cup looks half full instead of half empty. My home fills me with gratitude instead of wanting. My spirit is resting in a calm place. Instead of looking at others to find fault my heart warms to them. I see them as one to love.
The word of God does not return void. In the place of my darkness and chaos God can speak peace washing me with the water of his word. Any words of His have the power to transform. They all create peace. We were not created for chaos. We were created to experience relationship.
What a mystery. I remember to this day when this miracle unfolded in my understanding.
I wept and listened to Judy Collins singing Amazing Grace over and over for a long time.
I basked in the flood of clean peace and I marveled at the why of it all. Why would God do this? Why would he care? Why would he make any of this in the first place?
I felt it in my beginning. The love of God and his peace. What about you where do you stand?
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
The Best of Intentions
I was going to begin a sewing project today, post something profoundly witty and fun, and maybe pull a few weeds.
It's not happening. NADA.
We are having a very spring like winter. My daffodils and narcissus are BLOOMING. It is still January and they are quite early.
All my plans are set aside because I think I may have acquired a bug. Not a visible bug that I could squish, don't I wish. One of those nasties that make you feel not quite right in one minute and just plain awful the next. I have a stomach ache, a bit of nausea and a whole lot of hurting. My husband had something that included belching from his toenails.
Sometimes I feel sweaty and then chilled. I hope it's not the flu. I also hope it's 24 hours and done because my stomach hurting causes me to regress. Even at my age I can want my mama. Mama knew how to comfort so well that just her hug would make it all better.
My friend sent me to a blog today. It's the blog of a young woman with her new baby exploring the joys of her first newborn. She is blessed not to have to drop him off at a day care, she gets to be his mother. Go visit her she is special and lovely. She has always been brilliant. Her artwork from her youth is on my wall. http://whatcolorislove.wordpress.com/
Simply stated and perhaps a beginning for discussion, I believe the women's movement of the 70's ripped women off. The workplace is not all the glamor it was touted up to be. Leaving babies and children in others care is nerve wracking. I know some women love to work, but there are women who would love to be home. They don't really now how. The children they gave birth too and sent to day care may or may not have manners, may or may not be obedient, and the question is; do you like them? Once you are working and have bills how do you go home? Is it cost effective to live on one income? A working executive who crunched numbers all day began to suspect that it could be and she wrote a book about her journey back to the keeper of her hearth. She was so successful she began helping others and she has a website. http://www.miserlymoms.com/default.htm
We all love our children. I remember reading a book as a very young and very scared new mother. One of the tips was to change the newborn before feeding for a couple of reasons, to really get them awake so they would feed well; and to begin the process of teaching a moment of delayed gratification. The point was? To set a goal to raise children you like to be around. I remembered that.
Women don't have to feel like keeping a home is not a good use of their time. It takes a lot of work.
Keeping a home includes being the artist of that home setting the mood, creating a sanctuary for the people who live there. The weaving of a family, the rearing of young people shaping them training them to become the leaders of tomorrow. Being there when they have a stomach ache so that way down the road in life, even when they themselves are grandmothers; a stomach ache is a deep reminder of the soul of what a mothers comfort felt like. It affirms everything I believe and all that I have done.
It's not happening. NADA.
We are having a very spring like winter. My daffodils and narcissus are BLOOMING. It is still January and they are quite early.
All my plans are set aside because I think I may have acquired a bug. Not a visible bug that I could squish,
Sometimes I feel sweaty and then chilled. I hope it's not the flu. I also hope it's 24 hours and done because my stomach hurting causes me to regress. Even at my age I can want my mama. Mama knew how to comfort so well that just her hug would make it all better.
My friend sent me to a blog today. It's the blog of a young woman with her new baby exploring the joys of her first newborn. She is blessed not to have to drop him off at a day care, she gets to be his mother. Go visit her she is special and lovely. She has always been brilliant. Her artwork from her youth is on my wall. http://whatcolorislove.wordpress.com/
Simply stated and perhaps a beginning for discussion, I believe the women's movement of the 70's ripped women off. The workplace is not all the glamor it was touted up to be. Leaving babies and children in others care is nerve wracking. I know some women love to work, but there are women who would love to be home. They don't really now how. The children they gave birth too and sent to day care may or may not have manners, may or may not be obedient, and the question is; do you like them? Once you are working and have bills how do you go home? Is it cost effective to live on one income? A working executive who crunched numbers all day began to suspect that it could be and she wrote a book about her journey back to the keeper of her hearth. She was so successful she began helping others and she has a website. http://www.miserlymoms.com/default.htm
We all love our children. I remember reading a book as a very young and very scared new mother. One of the tips was to change the newborn before feeding for a couple of reasons, to really get them awake so they would feed well; and to begin the process of teaching a moment of delayed gratification. The point was? To set a goal to raise children you like to be around. I remembered that.
Women don't have to feel like keeping a home is not a good use of their time. It takes a lot of work.
Keeping a home includes being the artist of that home setting the mood, creating a sanctuary for the people who live there. The weaving of a family, the rearing of young people shaping them training them to become the leaders of tomorrow. Being there when they have a stomach ache so that way down the road in life, even when they themselves are grandmothers; a stomach ache is a deep reminder of the soul of what a mothers comfort felt like. It affirms everything I believe and all that I have done.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
ALL IS CALM
On one of Janie's posts she was writing about 25 things she knows for sure. I am not sure if I know 25 things but a few things I am sure of.
#1. I am THE most gullible smart stupid woman in the world.
proof is: yesterday my hubbins told me it was a holiday because of Robert E. Lee's birthday. I nodded uh OK, works for me. I didn't look at the calendar or watch TV. I didn't have any reason to doubt him.
HE said it perfectly matter of fact, no grin nothing.
#2. I might have started a racial war inadvertently because I asked if "Yankee's" had the same holiday. My BFF called me in hysterics and called me an idiot and told me to delete it in a hurry that it was Martin Luther Kings official national holiday. I jumped up like I had red ants on me.
#3. Whoops. I had commented on someones blog. GAH a very smart writer. I read that blog but don't comment much because that person is smarter and wittier than I am. SO I FINALLY have got something to say; YEP whaddaya think about Robert E Lee day? Where is hole to hide my head?
#4. I am positive that I have hoof in mouth disease and I have a raging case of of oral athletes foot.
Does Tinactin make toothpaste?
#5. There is a silver lining in every cloud however; because my dog's infestation is only dandruff, not walking dandruff.
#6. Walking dandruff is a nice way to say that your critter has an infestation of lice and you have just lost all your friends and relatives.
#7. Next year there will be absolutely no comments regarding any events or person who lived during the Civil War. The only Civil War that may be occurring may be between me and my man that can pull such fast ones on me. He has not pulled a fast one on me in a long time. I'll hear about this for the next 25 years because he will weave it into a nice long story that everyone I have ever known simply must hear. ROTFLMAO--maybe he will choke.
#8. I am sure that in the 25 years I have been married to him that if nothing else I have provided our family with a whole deluge of dumb blond jokes. They now have new material.
That's it. the eight things I know. Both of my dogs had bathes today. I washed all my linen and Roman's dog bed cover. I spent all my money at the vet. I am grateful that he couldn't find the dog lice. I am still looking at those flakes though. Worst case of dandruff I have ever seen.
Roman is on Prozac until Sammy gets neutered because I cannot abide his perverted behavior. I cannot convince Sammy to put his tail down and quit wiggling his cute little butt; so Roman gets to be on drugs. He is very relaxed tonight. That poor dog has been so miserable itching he is entitled to a few drugs. I'll take some myself. All is calm tonight. I haven't shot the dog. I didn't start WWIII and there was no race riot. My husband is still breathing and his daughter hasn't laughed that good for a long time.
It was a very very good day.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Beauty and the Beasts
An Undiscovered ARTIST
Are you amazed by the incredible abilities of some people to express beauty?
Linda Lime in the Coconut has an eye for beauty. Linda couldn't you be Bobbi's PR person? If your impressed a blog post by you just might take her into a whole new horizon. Just sayin--no pressure. She has to get discovered her work just blows me away!
When I took Kayla to interview for the art department at Bellhaven we must have talked with the chairman for almost 3 hours! Kayla wasn't connecting with him, I did. He was trying to convince me to enroll at the college and learn to draw and paint. I wish I had the money. I do not have $17,000 a year to go back to school. I need to go back to school to work on my writing I have become sloppy.
I was flattered though. He saw in me the mind and heart of an artist. He said that he could teach anyone to draw and paint but he cannot teach an artist how to see or think. It was a very interesting day.
My friend Bobbi went through midlife trauma when her marriage fell apart. Instead of becoming a drunk or getting bitter she went to art college. She has not been doing this her whole life but she is brilliant already. Her daughter is the subject of the painting of the lovely young blond asleep on the couch. Mothers never lose that pleasure of watching their children sleep. I laugh when I watch my daughter sleep because she snores, it runs in the family. I do too.
Bobbi has always made everything beautiful, her home, her food, her garden. She has such a flair for living and I have always enjoyed my visits with her. She raised her children well an awesome mom. I have two watercolors that her daughter painted when she was 14 years old that I just love. They are so whimsical and fun. Funny what things survive time and stay in my hands, those pictures are just priceless to me. I should get copies made and send them to Bobbi. You know should-bees are like wanta-bees and oughta-bees; they don't give any honey. Maybe someday I'll get that done.
Since I'm talking about interesting artistic people....check out this lady.
Janie Fox Talks Sometimes when I read a bog I like that person immediately. I get that "ooooh you are so my cup of tea," feeling. I'm actually not a very good blogger in terms of acquiring a huge following or reading a ton of blogs and new blogs. I just can't do it! I'd be reading 24 hours a day.
I like to actually read and savor posts, I don't skim them. I also like to make a "real" comment not just a little generic statement. UNLESS you knock my socks off and I'm speechless. IT CAN HAPPEN! Sometimes the only response is a one word response you know? Hum I mean in a good way. I t could be a bad way but not blogging, save that for driving around idiots.
Lets see who else? This isn't what I planned to do but the post can have a life of it's own right? I think my animals have bugs as in "walking dandruff "as in big mess. We are going to the vet tomorrow KA CHING and it will be huge because two cats and two dogs with the same thing has got to be expensive. Then we will do the house work the laundry work and probably set off flea bombs or call and exterminator to spray inside and out. KA CHING. The really bad news is that it will all go on my VISA because there is no income for this. That's what I was going to blog about. About how changing your financial status can really upset the apple cart of your life. Marriage is strained actually really really strained. I could be a big girl and re home the animals but I don't WANT to.SPOILED BRAT. I love them. i could give away the cats. I keep hoping that Kayla will come back. Puffins is her baby. I am already crazy about Sammy. I'm thinking he is a labradoodle. His face has a lot of lab in it. Every day he looks better and feels better. He is so happy. He wakes up and does a little happy dance that looks like a lamb leaping, ADORABLE! Roman is serious natured. Poor Roman has been having issues with his skin for months and months. Shoot fire the dang abandoned cat has always had this prolific case of dandruff. The initiator of the problem. Could it be that is why his owner left him behind when he moved away? I have never heard of this "walking dandruff" a yukky mite.
Tomorrow after I go to the vet I'll fill you in with all the gory details.
Today I'm staying in bed. Today I am having a pain day off. My body is exhausted and it hurts. It hurts enough to feel in my sleep so that I can't really get to sleep. I have the dogs in the yard.
We are all home resting because it's a holiday. Our state celebrates this day as a shared holiday of Martin Luther King and Robert E Lee. I'm not a racist and Robert E Lee wasn't either. Actually the Civil War was initially more about the North wanting to tax the South's cotton industry than slavery.
Robert E Lee was a fine man and Martin Luther King was a fine man, they are both in heaven together where there is neither slave nor free but Christ in all.
I have rambled on long enough. Check out Bobbi and leave her a comment. Maybe you all can help her be discovered. She needs to be in some classy galleries in San Francisco and New York. Her work is incredible.
Enjoy Janie she is fun.
Pray for Heather There and Back Again as her family and her dogs return to the US from the middle east and a huge amount of tension there. Pray they all leave safely.
Pray for Lauren Mental Pause Mama as she faces breast cancer, with an amazing attitude. She just ran a half marathon to raise money for the Lymphoma Leukemia Society. She raised over $7000, and she new about her diagnosis when she ran. That news was one of those speechless moments.
Pray for me because I need it. I just do.
I'm going to read blogs now.
Are you amazed by the incredible abilities of some people to express beauty?
Linda Lime in the Coconut has an eye for beauty. Linda couldn't you be Bobbi's PR person? If your impressed a blog post by you just might take her into a whole new horizon. Just sayin--no pressure. She has to get discovered her work just blows me away!
When I took Kayla to interview for the art department at Bellhaven we must have talked with the chairman for almost 3 hours! Kayla wasn't connecting with him, I did. He was trying to convince me to enroll at the college and learn to draw and paint. I wish I had the money. I do not have $17,000 a year to go back to school.
I was flattered though. He saw in me the mind and heart of an artist. He said that he could teach anyone to draw and paint but he cannot teach an artist how to see or think. It was a very interesting day.
My friend Bobbi went through midlife trauma when her marriage fell apart. Instead of becoming a drunk or getting bitter she went to art college. She has not been doing this her whole life but she is brilliant already. Her daughter is the subject of the painting of the lovely young blond asleep on the couch. Mothers never lose that pleasure of watching their children sleep. I laugh when I watch my daughter sleep because she snores, it runs in the family. I do too.
Bobbi has always made everything beautiful, her home, her food, her garden. She has such a flair for living and I have always enjoyed my visits with her. She raised her children well an awesome mom. I have two watercolors that her daughter painted when she was 14 years old that I just love. They are so whimsical and fun. Funny what things survive time and stay in my hands, those pictures are just priceless to me. I should get copies made and send them to Bobbi. You know should-bees are like wanta-bees and oughta-bees; they don't give any honey. Maybe someday I'll get that done.
Since I'm talking about interesting artistic people....check out this lady.
Janie Fox Talks Sometimes when I read a bog I like that person immediately. I get that "ooooh you are so my cup of tea," feeling. I'm actually not a very good blogger in terms of acquiring a huge following or reading a ton of blogs and new blogs. I just can't do it! I'd be reading 24 hours a day.
I like to actually read and savor posts, I don't skim them. I also like to make a "real" comment not just a little generic statement. UNLESS you knock my socks off and I'm speechless. IT CAN HAPPEN! Sometimes the only response is a one word response you know? Hum I mean in a good way. I t could be a bad way but not blogging, save that for driving around idiots.
Lets see who else? This isn't what I planned to do but the post can have a life of it's own right? I think my animals have bugs as in "walking dandruff "as in big mess. We are going to the vet tomorrow KA CHING and it will be huge because two cats and two dogs with the same thing has got to be expensive. Then we will do the house work the laundry work and probably set off flea bombs or call and exterminator to spray inside and out. KA CHING. The really bad news is that it will all go on my VISA because there is no income for this. That's what I was going to blog about. About how changing your financial status can really upset the apple cart of your life. Marriage is strained actually really really strained. I could be a big girl and re home the animals but I don't WANT to.
Tomorrow after I go to the vet I'll fill you in with all the gory details.
Today I'm staying in bed. Today I am having a pain day off. My body is exhausted and it hurts. It hurts enough to feel in my sleep so that I can't really get to sleep. I have the dogs in the yard.
We are all home resting because it's a holiday. Our state celebrates this day as a shared holiday of Martin Luther King and Robert E Lee. I'm not a racist and Robert E Lee wasn't either. Actually the Civil War was initially more about the North wanting to tax the South's cotton industry than slavery.
Robert E Lee was a fine man and Martin Luther King was a fine man, they are both in heaven together where there is neither slave nor free but Christ in all.
I have rambled on long enough. Check out Bobbi and leave her a comment. Maybe you all can help her be discovered. She needs to be in some classy galleries in San Francisco and New York. Her work is incredible.
Enjoy Janie she is fun.
Pray for Heather There and Back Again as her family and her dogs return to the US from the middle east and a huge amount of tension there. Pray they all leave safely.
Pray for Lauren Mental Pause Mama as she faces breast cancer, with an amazing attitude. She just ran a half marathon to raise money for the Lymphoma Leukemia Society. She raised over $7000, and she new about her diagnosis when she ran. That news was one of those speechless moments.
Pray for me because I need it. I just do.
I'm going to read blogs now.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Random Thoughts and Pics
I just want to write this morning. My head is full of thoughts and not to many are cohesive. Imagine that? To write or not to write that is the question. Whether it is nobler to write some colossal missive or a bunch of random ideas is yet to be determined!
What is it about the new year that makes us set goals and re examine ourselves? Hopefully in this techie super fast age some of that is still occurring. Can you multitask and introspect? I think not but then I'm not to hot on multi tasking anymore. Don't get me wrong I can do it! I have been the queen of multitask especially in nursing. When I stopped working full time I began to realize just how stressful multi tasking is. How quickly that lesson was forgotten in the multi tasking of two dawgs!
Good night nurse. I don't know about you but I can really get lost in some idiotic fantasies. In my mind I saw Roman and Sammy posed together on the big dog bed. Cuddling up or running laps AROUND the garden beds. Guess what? I don't have to say a word do I? Yes, it's arghhhhhhah argggggghh wrastle nip squeal hump holler, and um the race for the bed is my bed and my room smells like DAAAWWWG.
Someone is having to do a lot more laundry and have the Fabreeze can handy.
However I can't say I'm sorry I got Sammy. The lesson in this dog scenario is that if I would have waited on God's perfect timing He would have given me my hearts desire. Waiting is not my forte so I pushed and purchased the beast. He is a good dog just a very large and very strong dog. My sister in law told me to get a spiked choke chain and that would stop him from yanking me across the street on his whims. My stomach churned at the thought. I do have a real fear of having Roman injuring me. Maybe I do need to try one. I think they are gross. If you are not Ceaser the dog whisperer with the calm and assertive attitude; just how do you control a powerful dog?
Attitudes. Truth be told my attitude sucks. I hate getting out of bed in the morning. I am cranky when I wake up. If the kitchen is a mess it puts me in a foul mood. If the dawgs start their arghhhh arghh arghhh mouthing and wrastling before I get that first cup of coffee that makes me want to shoot them.
What a nasty person. No one has ever accused me of being nice in the morning hence my goal to talk to my family like they are friends. My house being in perfect order can't be more important than the people who live in it. That is true but why is it I am so much nicer when it looks like this?
Than this?
Yesterday Jennifer choked on a big horse capsule. It scared her to death. She came at me nakkid as a jay bird in a panic. I tried a few back blows but it didn't help so I just had her bend over and talked calmly to her reassuring her that she was breathing and encouraging her to cough. I sugested she see if she dislodge it with her finger and she did move it some and then she was able to cough it up. In my mind I was thinking about how far away the phone was to call 911. I was also wondering if she did pass out if I would be able to get a huge soft jell that was wedged in her throat out of her throat. That was all on the inside on the outside I was the manifestation of calm reassurance. I am a good nurse. When she did cough/barf it out we realized she was also having an allergic reaction to it! That poor 49 year old child's face was swollen, her capillaries broken and her throat was swelling internally. Benadryl to the rescue and cold compresses. I wanted her to stay home and recover but she went to work. I did have to take her more benadryl at work later that evening. That was a lot of excitement to begin the day. You just never know. I was so grateful for all those years of CPR training.
On Sunday we started in Genesis with my ladies Sunday school class. The modern term is life group.
I always think that the term life group needs the definition of Sunday school. Do people really know what life group is?
I am really excited about the study. I am learning so much that I just might write about some of it here, on my blog for you. There is nothing like starting at the beginning, especially if you haven't ever studied the story before or have just had a bit of religion crammed down your throat.
It's still the greatest story ever told.
I'm going to take Sammy to the vet tomorrow to check him out for all this panting that he does, and as I am typing this he is lying here next to me a damp dog from playing in the rain, breathing completely normally. This is a first. Maybe I just need to relax and give this dog time to recover.
He is really doing well from his little nose to his wiggly butt. He does wiggle his butt and he is so cute. Jennifer even has a hard time making him mind because he is so cute. He has got to be a puppy. They keep telling me they think he's about 1 1/2 or 2 but he acts like a puppy. Now that he doesn't stink he even has a bit of a puppy smell. I do hope he is FULL GROWN!!! Roman's jealous.
Sammy can walk right through our cast iron fencing. He was outside this morning playing in the rain. He loves water. It has been raining for days and we haven't been able to walk so I guess he had a ball. King Roman is sprawled across the bed sideways looking elegant. There is barely any room for me. I'll take that as a cue to quit rambling and start the day.
Your still here? Why bless you! Have any kind of day you want to have.
What is it about the new year that makes us set goals and re examine ourselves? Hopefully in this techie super fast age some of that is still occurring. Can you multitask and introspect? I think not but then I'm not to hot on multi tasking anymore. Don't get me wrong I can do it! I have been the queen of multitask especially in nursing. When I stopped working full time I began to realize just how stressful multi tasking is. How quickly that lesson was forgotten in the multi tasking of two dawgs!
 |
| Sammy ( he really isn't all nose it's kind of a strange angle) |
 |
| Roman (he really is a patchwork of colors and not a black dog. Who take da dawg wid da skinny legs ?) |
 |
| Sporting the new hip clip. |
 |
| this is fun? |
 |
| dog bonding? |
Someone is having to do a lot more laundry and have the Fabreeze can handy.
However I can't say I'm sorry I got Sammy. The lesson in this dog scenario is that if I would have waited on God's perfect timing He would have given me my hearts desire. Waiting is not my forte so I pushed and purchased the beast. He is a good dog just a very large and very strong dog. My sister in law told me to get a spiked choke chain and that would stop him from yanking me across the street on his whims. My stomach churned at the thought. I do have a real fear of having Roman injuring me. Maybe I do need to try one. I think they are gross. If you are not Ceaser the dog whisperer with the calm and assertive attitude; just how do you control a powerful dog?
Attitudes. Truth be told my attitude sucks. I hate getting out of bed in the morning. I am cranky when I wake up. If the kitchen is a mess it puts me in a foul mood. If the dawgs start their arghhhh arghh arghhh mouthing and wrastling before I get that first cup of coffee that makes me want to shoot them.
What a nasty person. No one has ever accused me of being nice in the morning hence my goal to talk to my family like they are friends. My house being in perfect order can't be more important than the people who live in it. That is true but why is it I am so much nicer when it looks like this?
 |
| ah love it clean. Notice the absence of that big painting? |
 |
| I love Christmas but I also love to put it all away!! |
 |
| I have a new window thanks to a boys dart game. |
Than this?
 |
| my laundry room mess |
Yesterday Jennifer choked on a big horse capsule. It scared her to death. She came at me nakkid as a jay bird in a panic. I tried a few back blows but it didn't help so I just had her bend over and talked calmly to her reassuring her that she was breathing and encouraging her to cough. I sugested she see if she dislodge it with her finger and she did move it some and then she was able to cough it up. In my mind I was thinking about how far away the phone was to call 911. I was also wondering if she did pass out if I would be able to get a huge soft jell that was wedged in her throat out of her throat. That was all on the inside on the outside I was the manifestation of calm reassurance. I am a good nurse. When she did cough/barf it out we realized she was also having an allergic reaction to it! That poor
On Sunday we started in Genesis with my ladies Sunday school class. The modern term is life group.
I always think that the term life group needs the definition of Sunday school. Do people really know what life group is?
I am really excited about the study. I am learning so much that I just might write about some of it here, on my blog for you. There is nothing like starting at the beginning, especially if you haven't ever studied the story before or have just had a bit of religion crammed down your throat.
It's still the greatest story ever told.
I'm going to take Sammy to the vet tomorrow to check him out for all this panting that he does, and as I am typing this he is lying here next to me a damp dog from playing in the rain, breathing completely normally. This is a first. Maybe I just need to relax and give this dog time to recover.
He is really doing well from his little nose to his wiggly butt. He does wiggle his butt and he is so cute. Jennifer even has a hard time making him mind because he is so cute. He has got to be a puppy. They keep telling me they think he's about 1 1/2 or 2 but he acts like a puppy. Now that he doesn't stink he even has a bit of a puppy smell. I do hope he is FULL GROWN!!! Roman's jealous.
Sammy can walk right through our cast iron fencing. He was outside this morning playing in the rain. He loves water. It has been raining for days and we haven't been able to walk so I guess he had a ball. King Roman is sprawled across the bed sideways looking elegant. There is barely any room for me. I'll take that as a cue to quit rambling and start the day.
Your still here? Why bless you! Have any kind of day you want to have.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
PICTURES
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Sammy's Saga
What a difference a day makes. A couple of things have happened that are very encouraging. Sammy's poop firmed up for one. I think he really did have some kind of oral infection because the smell is greatly reduced AND I bought some of that enzyme spray that is advertised on TV for dogs.
Guess what?
It works. Really the dogs teeth are quickly cleaning up. Romans are looking good too. What a great product! It's so nice not to turn my head and gag when this little fella puffs in my face.
I decided that after a total free for all of round the clock eating and some pretty rapid weight gain we could try meals. Today we served 3 bowls of Wilderness Duck to skinny Sammy. Roman eats better being offered meals. He tends to graze or eat late at night. He's so much like me that it's weird.
Now if we can just complete the house training.....
And if he'll slow down this rapid respiratory rate. I did get him tested and he is heart worm NEGATIVE! yeah!!!! Maybe his metabolism is going fast with all this eating.
His ribs are filling in. He and Roman are walking nicely together. Romanwill still try the assault and hump routine but less. I wish Sammy would just lay down and roll over! They are nuzzling a little bit. THAT is encouraging. I'm hoping that they will bond better once Sammy is neutered. I think he must be a goldendoodle or labradoodle. His coat is so soft and I love his tail.
My friend said that in the previous post I implied that Sammy won't look at me. He does and he is very sweet. He won't hold still long enough to get a good picture!
Roman is the majestic one, he poses for the camera. It's so funny Roman sees where Sammy has peed or pooped on the laundry room floor and he just looks at me. I can practically read his mind and he is saying, "Really? You brought home this little pig that is eating us out of house and home AND he does this mess IN the house? He sure is getting away with bloody murder".
Then I explain to Roman that Sammy has had a tough time and he will figure it out. I ask Roman to teach him how to open the door and encourage him to go outside. I explain to Roman that if he will quit tackling Sammy like a professional linebacker that he will have a lot more fun outside and that will help too.
This is the state of my mind after the first week of my first dog rescue. I have big conversations with poodles. I have bent over so many times to clean up poop and pee that my back is just wrecked.
The poop factory is on overtime. If I didn't go clean up everyday my entire neighborhood would reek. There would be a small mountain of dog crap in the yard. I would have nightmares of poop poltergists. Instead of the muddy cemetary it would be dog poop and we would be having to run for our lives. Of course in the nightmare the little stinky dog would be panting happily after us pooping all the way.
I know you don't believe me so I may take pictures.
You know I might be losing it if you come here and see pictures of piles.
It's possible.
I might end up in the Guiness book of world records.
It figures that my claim to fame would involve poop. It just figures.
Guess what?
It works. Really the dogs teeth are quickly cleaning up. Romans are looking good too. What a great product! It's so nice not to turn my head and gag when this little fella puffs in my face.
I decided that after a total free for all of round the clock eating and some pretty rapid weight gain we could try meals. Today we served 3 bowls of Wilderness Duck to skinny Sammy. Roman eats better being offered meals. He tends to graze or eat late at night. He's so much like me that it's weird.
Now if we can just complete the house training.....
And if he'll slow down this rapid respiratory rate. I did get him tested and he is heart worm NEGATIVE! yeah!!!! Maybe his metabolism is going fast with all this eating.
His ribs are filling in. He and Roman are walking nicely together. Romanwill still try the assault and hump routine but less. I wish Sammy would just lay down and roll over! They are nuzzling a little bit. THAT is encouraging. I'm hoping that they will bond better once Sammy is neutered. I think he must be a goldendoodle or labradoodle. His coat is so soft and I love his tail.
My friend said that in the previous post I implied that Sammy won't look at me. He does and he is very sweet. He won't hold still long enough to get a good picture!
Roman is the majestic one, he poses for the camera. It's so funny Roman sees where Sammy has peed or pooped on the laundry room floor and he just looks at me. I can practically read his mind and he is saying, "Really? You brought home this little pig that is eating us out of house and home AND he does this mess IN the house? He sure is getting away with bloody murder".
Then I explain to Roman that Sammy has had a tough time and he will figure it out. I ask Roman to teach him how to open the door and encourage him to go outside. I explain to Roman that if he will quit tackling Sammy like a professional linebacker that he will have a lot more fun outside and that will help too.
This is the state of my mind after the first week of my first dog rescue. I have big conversations with poodles. I have bent over so many times to clean up poop and pee that my back is just wrecked.
The poop factory is on overtime. If I didn't go clean up everyday my entire neighborhood would reek. There would be a small mountain of dog crap in the yard. I would have nightmares of poop poltergists. Instead of the muddy cemetary it would be dog poop and we would be having to run for our lives. Of course in the nightmare the little stinky dog would be panting happily after us pooping all the way.
I know you don't believe me so I may take pictures.
You know I might be losing it if you come here and see pictures of piles.
It's possible.
I might end up in the Guiness book of world records.
It figures that my claim to fame would involve poop. It just figures.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Starting Something Sammy
Sammy and Roman still getting used to each other. Sammy is a rescue. I have never rescued an animal before unless the squirrel counts. Do rodents count?
I wish I knew more about dogs. I got him from my vet. He was abandoned there in terrible shape. Almost starved to death. My groomer told me about him and I went over there took one look and put him in the truck,
of course we were in love by the time we got home.
Don't you wish sometimes that animals could tell us their stories?
Maybe tomorrow I can get him to look at me for more than a few seconds.
We are walking all together because Ceaser says that makes you a pack.
Roman is humping and I am really trying to get him to quit. Today was our best day. I got a retractable leash and that makes Roman calm and he listens better.
Sammy is leash trained. Seeing the shape this little guy was in I'm going to get them both micro chipped as soon as I can afford it!
First things first.
Oh I almost forgot the best part. He isn't potty trained to go outside ALL the time.
I have never seen so much pee in one place on the floor. I wish I could measure this. It's a LOT.The good news is he is smart. I take him out every 2 hours to pee and poop. That's a lot of poop like I told you!
I am not exaggerating either. So we are working on learning to potty outside all the time.
Dumb me I sold my crate. I'm trying to find a used one. Cheap.
That would help I'm sure.
I'm busy and TIRED.
So busy I forgot to say Happy New Year!
Did you make any resolutions?
My new years resolutions this year are as follows.
Be nice pretend my family are friends and talk nicely to them.
Walk the dogs every day.
Pick up the poop every day.
Avoid any more cute dogs that need homes like the plague.
Eat less, drink more ----yeah right but I mean water.
Remember I have a blog and write on it.
Remember to publish comments.
Remember to remember.
I also have some goals and one is to reduce:
medications
weight
complaining
worry
TV
consuming
and
waste.
I'll let you know in February if I am getting anywhere.
OK if you are knowledgeable about dogs in this condition I hereby forthwith invite you to wax eloquent in the comment section. Enlighten me puhleeze!
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Merry Christmas
It is enjoyed by all of us. Look at this cuteness. Seriously cute cheeks on each one.
At least it wasn't pink. I imagined a leg lamp with a fishnet stocking in my living room window. It would go well with the painting.
I wish YOU and your families a blessed Christmas and a toast with your favorite beverage to the New Year!
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Buyers Remorse
Tomorrow I have a day off and I plan to take a few pictures of all the Christmas decorations that my daughter has done. You know how plans go though, mostly awry. I am sooooo spoiled to have a daughter who did all this work and made everything gorgeous. You haven't seenmy couch either. What a score that is!
I have a new computer and I am having so much trouble with blogger,is it them or the computer? Hard to know. I say this after trying to add a few colors to my template so that my blog is not black on black at Christmas. I don't know how it all went black anyway when I picked out that pretty star. I thought I was going to have a total crash adding colors. Good grief Charlie Brown, you never got to enjoy technology. Those would have been some great cartoons. Charlie Brown and a Smart phone. Snoopy and a Smart phone. Beethoven and a lap top. Lucy selling advice for 50 bucks?
Did you see the news tonight about how many people have been returning things even before Christmas?
I have to put my hand up. I ordered a Dyson vacuum from HSN on easy pay. I started thinking about how hard easy pay is and how long 5 months is. I sent it back and went to Walmart. In front of the vacuums was a family buying a filter for a vacuum they like. I asked them if they had pets, yes they did. They had 2 big dogs that shed tons of hair and cats. I asked about their carpet, it is a thick shag=frieze. OK this is going wellit may even be a divine appointment a sign and how does the vacuum work? Great. How long? A year. Sold. One vacuum for $79.95 less than even one easy pay. For that much if it only lasts one year I won't care. Came home and it did a great job and I have been relieved of the anxiety of easy pay.
In fact just about everything I bought on credit I returned. It's too much stress and really in this economy it's crazy. I'm still thinking how much better it would be for me to give to the really poor.
Then the rubber hits the road and my husband hands me a hundred dollar bill. The exact price of that pet spot bot I want to try and keep this stupid carpet in one piece for longer than the less than the two years I have had it.best sentence ever I had to keep the last dumb carpet for ten years. After ten years of complaining about carpet when my husband finally agreed to put in laminate, what did I do?
I bought another carpet.
Temporary insanity---no maybe ever present insanity.
Isn't the definition of insanity doing things the same way and expecting different results?
Yeah, I thought so.
Certifiable.
I did have my reasons. We have too many different kinds of flooring already. Three different kinds of linoleum. When I mentioned how far I wanted the laminate to go taking out some of the linoleum my hubs vetoed that. A not budging from the veto kind of veto. Then there was all the noise on the stairs. Stairs without carpet are REALLY noisy and I am half deaf. So how noisy is that? Have you ever heard 70 pounds of dog running up and down stairs?
Then I had mental images of my 74 year old husband on his hands and knees installing this flooring board by board and I just threw in the proverbial towel. I would buy carpet. A nice thick carpet that would feel good under our feet and be pretty to look at. I wouldn't get a solid color. I wouldn't get a plush. I'd search until I found the perfect thing. Sounds good right?
The problem is this carpet looks 20 years old already and it's not even two. I tried to file a claim because its GUARANTEED. My foot. It is not guaranteed, not by Lowe's and not by Mohawk. No it's tough luck lady so sorry you have an ugly rug. We got your money and neener neener neener @#$%
raspberries blowing----
OK I have been suckered so plan B right?(Sic Chris H on them) New vacuum and maybe the spot bot. At least if it's clean it may be better. Professional shampooing hasn't helped it just mattes and looks just like it did before, like a carpet of dreadlocks. Rastafarian flooring baby!
The new cheap vacuum is helping a lot, a whole lot. I really want the Spot Bot and now I have the money but there is a problem.
Like "Houston we have a problem", wasn't that a great movie?Are you still here?
I keep thinking about the winter I got locked outside and nearly froze to death--for real. I have PTSD about getting cold. I cannot handle getting cold, I become instantly neurotic. The World Vision mail came asking for the coats for freezing children. I felt sick. Sick as in nauseous and faint.
I keep thinking about the clean water filtration systems that Gospel for Asia have invented. They are amazing! $30 can buy a filtration system that gives people clean pure water. I wouldn't want to drink muddy water. I think all of us take for granted that we have clean water from our taps. Instead we buy even better water! Google it. You'll be amazed. I mean really the water in our toilets is more drinkable. How is that for perspective?
I keep thinking about chickens, ducks, and baby goats, cows, bicycles, and mosquito netting, sewing machines, medicines, and on and on. One thing can change the course for the poorest of the poor to a better life. Just one thing.
I have pockets.
I keep thinking about whose birthday it really is and why should I get a present? Why shouldn't the birthday baby get the presents? If Jesus would leave heaven and all glory and humble himself to be born and experience everything we do, because of His great love for us---then shouldn't He receive some gifts? The kind of gifts he would want, like feeding the hungry and clothing the naked. Don't I love Him? Forget the "shouldest" isn't it the right thing to do? Isn't it about love? About sacrificial love? What is a gift that doesn't cost us anything?
I wanted to run to Walmart at ten o'clock tonight and buy my Spot Bot.
I knew it was a losing battle. I didn't go. Now I have talked about it.
Blogged about it on the WWW. I've picked up a megaphone to the whole world.
Now I can't buy a stupid Spot Bot without thinking of this post forever.
How can I even think of choosing between the baby Jesus and a shag carpet?
It's the nature of being a human and having warts. Wart wart wart.
Mostly we hide ugly stuff but tonight I felt like showing some warts and then removing those nasty buggers.
Tomorrow I'm going to buy some coats, and do some shopping.
Tomorrow I'm going to buy without remorse in honor of the sweet little 8 pound baby Jesus.
...and forget about the stupid rastafarian dreadlock carpet. that the dawg has had diarreah on and the cats have puked hairballs on, etc...etc...etc...
I think I'll be feeling a lot more of the real magic of Christmas after that shopping gets done.
I am looking forward to the joy of giving.
After which I'll probably spill red wine on that oatmeal colored dreadlocked mess;
and bust up laughing.
Merry Christmas indeed!
I have a new computer and I am having so much trouble with blogger,is it them or the computer? Hard to know. I say this after trying to add a few colors to my template so that my blog is not black on black at Christmas. I don't know how it all went black anyway when I picked out that pretty star. I thought I was going to have a total crash adding colors. Good grief Charlie Brown, you never got to enjoy technology. Those would have been some great cartoons. Charlie Brown and a Smart phone. Snoopy and a Smart phone. Beethoven and a lap top. Lucy selling advice for 50 bucks?
Did you see the news tonight about how many people have been returning things even before Christmas?
I have to put my hand up. I ordered a Dyson vacuum from HSN on easy pay. I started thinking about how hard easy pay is and how long 5 months is. I sent it back and went to Walmart. In front of the vacuums was a family buying a filter for a vacuum they like. I asked them if they had pets, yes they did. They had 2 big dogs that shed tons of hair and cats. I asked about their carpet, it is a thick shag=frieze. OK this is going well
In fact just about everything I bought on credit I returned. It's too much stress and really in this economy it's crazy. I'm still thinking how much better it would be for me to give to the really poor.
Then the rubber hits the road and my husband hands me a hundred dollar bill. The exact price of that pet spot bot I want to try and keep this stupid carpet in one piece for longer than the less than the two years I have had it.
I bought another carpet.
Temporary insanity---no maybe ever present insanity.
Isn't the definition of insanity doing things the same way and expecting different results?
Yeah, I thought so.
Certifiable.
I did have my reasons. We have too many different kinds of flooring already. Three different kinds of linoleum. When I mentioned how far I wanted the laminate to go taking out some of the linoleum my hubs vetoed that. A not budging from the veto kind of veto. Then there was all the noise on the stairs. Stairs without carpet are REALLY noisy and I am half deaf. So how noisy is that? Have you ever heard 70 pounds of dog running up and down stairs?
Then I had mental images of my 74 year old husband on his hands and knees installing this flooring board by board and I just threw in the proverbial towel. I would buy carpet. A nice thick carpet that would feel good under our feet and be pretty to look at. I wouldn't get a solid color. I wouldn't get a plush. I'd search until I found the perfect thing. Sounds good right?
The problem is this carpet looks 20 years old already and it's not even two. I tried to file a claim because its GUARANTEED. My foot. It is not guaranteed, not by Lowe's and not by Mohawk. No it's tough luck lady so sorry you have an ugly rug. We got your money and neener neener neener @#$%
raspberries blowing----
OK I have been suckered so plan B right?
The new cheap vacuum is helping a lot, a whole lot. I really want the Spot Bot and now I have the money but there is a problem.
Like "Houston we have a problem", wasn't that a great movie?
I keep thinking about the winter I got locked outside and nearly froze to death--for real. I have PTSD about getting cold. I cannot handle getting cold, I become instantly neurotic. The World Vision mail came asking for the coats for freezing children. I felt sick. Sick as in nauseous and faint.
I keep thinking about the clean water filtration systems that Gospel for Asia have invented. They are amazing! $30 can buy a filtration system that gives people clean pure water. I wouldn't want to drink muddy water. I think all of us take for granted that we have clean water from our taps. Instead we buy even better water! Google it. You'll be amazed. I mean really the water in our toilets is more drinkable. How is that for perspective?
I keep thinking about chickens, ducks, and baby goats, cows, bicycles, and mosquito netting, sewing machines, medicines, and on and on. One thing can change the course for the poorest of the poor to a better life. Just one thing.
I have pockets.
I keep thinking about whose birthday it really is and why should I get a present? Why shouldn't the birthday baby get the presents? If Jesus would leave heaven and all glory and humble himself to be born and experience everything we do, because of His great love for us---then shouldn't He receive some gifts? The kind of gifts he would want, like feeding the hungry and clothing the naked. Don't I love Him? Forget the "shouldest" isn't it the right thing to do? Isn't it about love? About sacrificial love? What is a gift that doesn't cost us anything?
I wanted to run to Walmart at ten o'clock tonight and buy my Spot Bot.
I knew it was a losing battle. I didn't go. Now I have talked about it.
Blogged about it on the WWW. I've picked up a megaphone to the whole world.
Now I can't buy a stupid Spot Bot without thinking of this post forever.
How can I even think of choosing between the baby Jesus and a shag carpet?
It's the nature of being a human and having warts. Wart wart wart.
Mostly we hide ugly stuff but tonight I felt like showing some warts and then removing those nasty buggers.
Tomorrow I'm going to buy some coats, and do some shopping.
Tomorrow I'm going to buy without remorse in honor of the sweet little 8 pound baby Jesus.
...and forget about the stupid rastafarian dreadlock carpet. that the dawg has had diarreah on and the cats have puked hairballs on, etc...etc...etc...
I think I'll be feeling a lot more of the real magic of Christmas after that shopping gets done.
I am looking forward to the joy of giving.
After which I'll probably spill red wine on that oatmeal colored dreadlocked mess;
and bust up laughing.
Merry Christmas indeed!
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
One Day At A Time
Life never happens exactly like we expect and dying doesn't either. Over the years I have seen such a strong comparison to birth in death. Adeline has been having her share of "Braxton Hicks" all the signs of impending real labor. She is declining, and interpreting what is going on to her family can be a real challenge. She has good days and bad days. There are beautiful moments where she is so lucid it is as if her dementia is gone. That is an amazing blessing.
The signs are all there. She is losing her appetite. She has disengaged from all the activities that she enjoyed. I was going to set her up in her bed and put on Jack Benny and she said , NO! I tell you what that no meant no. I was a bit disappointed because I have yet to finish the Jack Benny DVD and he is hilarious! I just might get a few of those old time comedians. They aren't grossly nasty and they are really funny. One of the things that has endeared me to Adeline is her love of laughter.
This woman has given me so much. You know as a culture we are so busy and so self absorbed that we are really missing out on what other human beings have to share with us. Our old and infirm that get shuffled off to institutions have a lot to share with us if we interact with them calmly and with patience. My experience with Adeline has been a lesson in patience. Sometimes it would take her mind quite a few minutes to process a task, but as she worked at it her brain began to engage again.
We played cards. What we did was take UNO cards and I would lay down about three numbers at a time in the same color and say what they were, for example, "Blue zero, one two and three." Then I would hand her a red zero and ask her to match the number. At first she just matched and didn't speak but as we continued she began to count and remember early childhood rhymes like, "One two buckle my....and she would say "shoe", and laugh.
I think I stumbled onto something that helps dementia. My doctor told me that this is actually the direction that research for dementia and Alzheimer's is going. Bummer I thought I made a scientific discovery! The brain is so interesting because the two halves work so so differently. The right brain is more intuitive and it is connected with physical motions. All the songs we sing as little kids when we are playing games stay in our minds. Jump rope songs, or for men military marching to ....well shoot fire whatever it is that they call that marching cadence. Whatever it is they don't forget it. It's right brain learning.
Excuse me while I blow off steam that somehow a big chunk of what I was writing just went into cyberspace and now I have to regroup and try to to get back to where I was to do it again. Did you follow that? OK that is when I want to slam down the lid of a laptop and forget it.
Of course you would never get frustrated like that right? Which is where I was going but in a different way.
Adeline has a very long fuse. She has the ability to trust and be flexible. If she is not hurried, if things are explained to her she just trusts and goes with the program. What a lesson! I have a long way to go to be even close. I get frustrated easily. I am not sure I have the slightest inclination to growing old gracefully. My mother used to tell me that.
I heard a man telling a story of his childhood with his grandfather. They used to ride the bus together. It didn't matter where they went. They picked a place to go walked around the terminal and rode back. They ate toffees and they talked. His grandfather shared with him about life. He told him stories and he taught him important lessons. The boy loved it. He didn't need a Nintendo as much as he needed the time and the human connection.
Sometimes I ask myself what on earth are we doing to ourselves with the culture we participate in. Why do agree to be in a frantic state of stress to achieve WHAT? A collection of belongings that we will later dispose of? A pile of toys for both child and adult that keep us active independently of each other until boredom sets in? At what price?
Next year my Christmas is going to be different. Next year my presents are going to be to the baby Jesus. What would Jesus want? When we look at his life he went about expressing compassion, healing the sick, multiplying loaves and fishes, feeding people comforting people, teaching them.
I think Jesus would like it if I gave a poor family a goat, or some chickens. If I bought coats for freezing children, or helped a village get clean water. There are a lot of agencies now that let you do just that. World Vision, Samaritans Purse, Gospel for Asia. We can change other peoples lives that are in dire need for so little. I don't want to be so self absorbed with one part of my brain and the other part is saying gimme gimme.
Not to long ago my daughter and I had a fight. Mothers and daughters do that from time to time.
OCD. I can be a freak, I confess. That scares me because what kind of old lady am I going to be? One of those that bites or spits? GAW! God forbid.
Do you remember in the Christmas Carol when Jacob Marley appears in the chains he forged through life? That is a good analogy for us in regards to our personalities and character. What kind of character are we building? When we are old the camouflage comes off and what we are is exposed. I want to be sweet, flexible and trusting. I want to laugh easy and accept my food without complaining. To be like Adeline. she might have dementia but she has shown me how to be endearing in spite of a difficulty.
What a legacy to leave, what an incredible gift. I am so blessed.
These last days I will keep and treasure in my heart forever. Do you remember where I was last year at this time? Hurt hardly able to do anything. I needed help with everything getting dressed, bathing, you know EVERYTHING. I could mange to wipe my own whohah. I became very fearful after that injury. I stayed home for a long time. This little job with Adeline has been therapy for me. I'm stronger and have more confidence. I don't worry about my arm all the time anymore. I have developed more stamina. By serving her I am being healed. We rescued each other and that is the hand of God directly working to touch his children's lives and bring them good.
The signs are all there. She is losing her appetite. She has disengaged from all the activities that she enjoyed. I was going to set her up in her bed and put on Jack Benny and she said , NO! I tell you what that no meant no. I was a bit disappointed because I have yet to finish the Jack Benny DVD and he is hilarious! I just might get a few of those old time comedians. They aren't grossly nasty and they are really funny. One of the things that has endeared me to Adeline is her love of laughter.
This woman has given me so much. You know as a culture we are so busy and so self absorbed that we are really missing out on what other human beings have to share with us. Our old and infirm that get shuffled off to institutions have a lot to share with us if we interact with them calmly and with patience. My experience with Adeline has been a lesson in patience. Sometimes it would take her mind quite a few minutes to process a task, but as she worked at it her brain began to engage again.
We played cards. What we did was take UNO cards and I would lay down about three numbers at a time in the same color and say what they were, for example, "Blue zero, one two and three." Then I would hand her a red zero and ask her to match the number. At first she just matched and didn't speak but as we continued she began to count and remember early childhood rhymes like, "One two buckle my....and she would say "shoe", and laugh.
I think I stumbled onto something that helps dementia. My doctor told me that this is actually the direction that research for dementia and Alzheimer's is going. Bummer I thought I made a scientific discovery! The brain is so interesting because the two halves work so so differently. The right brain is more intuitive and it is connected with physical motions. All the songs we sing as little kids when we are playing games stay in our minds. Jump rope songs, or for men military marching to ....well shoot fire whatever it is that they call that marching cadence. Whatever it is they don't forget it. It's right brain learning.
Excuse me while I blow off steam that somehow a big chunk of what I was writing just went into cyberspace and now I have to regroup and try to to get back to where I was to do it again. Did you follow that? OK that is when I want to slam down the lid of a laptop and forget it.
Of course you would never get frustrated like that right? Which is where I was going but in a different way.
Adeline has a very long fuse. She has the ability to trust and be flexible. If she is not hurried, if things are explained to her she just trusts and goes with the program. What a lesson! I have a long way to go to be even close. I get frustrated easily. I am not sure I have the slightest inclination to growing old gracefully. My mother used to tell me that.
I heard a man telling a story of his childhood with his grandfather. They used to ride the bus together. It didn't matter where they went. They picked a place to go walked around the terminal and rode back. They ate toffees and they talked. His grandfather shared with him about life. He told him stories and he taught him important lessons. The boy loved it. He didn't need a Nintendo as much as he needed the time and the human connection.
Sometimes I ask myself what on earth are we doing to ourselves with the culture we participate in. Why do agree to be in a frantic state of stress to achieve WHAT? A collection of belongings that we will later dispose of? A pile of toys for both child and adult that keep us active independently of each other until boredom sets in? At what price?
Next year my Christmas is going to be different. Next year my presents are going to be to the baby Jesus. What would Jesus want? When we look at his life he went about expressing compassion, healing the sick, multiplying loaves and fishes, feeding people comforting people, teaching them.
I think Jesus would like it if I gave a poor family a goat, or some chickens. If I bought coats for freezing children, or helped a village get clean water. There are a lot of agencies now that let you do just that. World Vision, Samaritans Purse, Gospel for Asia. We can change other peoples lives that are in dire need for so little. I don't want to be so self absorbed with one part of my brain and the other part is saying gimme gimme.
Not to long ago my daughter and I had a fight. Mothers and daughters do that from time to time.
OCD. I can be a freak, I confess. That scares me because what kind of old lady am I going to be? One of those that bites or spits? GAW! God forbid.
Do you remember in the Christmas Carol when Jacob Marley appears in the chains he forged through life? That is a good analogy for us in regards to our personalities and character. What kind of character are we building? When we are old the camouflage comes off and what we are is exposed. I want to be sweet, flexible and trusting. I want to laugh easy and accept my food without complaining. To be like Adeline. she might have dementia but she has shown me how to be endearing in spite of a difficulty.
What a legacy to leave, what an incredible gift. I am so blessed.
These last days I will keep and treasure in my heart forever. Do you remember where I was last year at this time? Hurt hardly able to do anything. I needed help with everything getting dressed, bathing, you know EVERYTHING. I could mange to wipe my own whohah. I became very fearful after that injury. I stayed home for a long time. This little job with Adeline has been therapy for me. I'm stronger and have more confidence. I don't worry about my arm all the time anymore. I have developed more stamina. By serving her I am being healed. We rescued each other and that is the hand of God directly working to touch his children's lives and bring them good.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
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