Friday, May 15, 2009


Have you ever been to tired to do anything at all? I was so tired today all I really wanted to do was lie in bed and sleep, and do nothing. Did I give in to that? No sireee Bob not this woman, no way Jose. I am queen of the push. Push myself to get up and go.

Wandering around my filthy kitchen was the first big bummer of this day. Midge had been trying her hand at cooking and dumped about a half of bottle of Herbs de Provence into a sauce that was absolutely not edible. She is a messy cook and the cupboards were splattered, the cook top all smeared, and dishes still in the sink. That makes grumpy. As I started cleaning, because I am a fool and did not go get the kid to do it; I noticed an old baked potato on the stove FULL of fruitflies! Shades of Cheasepeake Bay Woman's greatest INFESTATION! This was so totally not cool. Now I am getting beyond irritated into the p.o. mode. Atilla the Hun ain't got nuthin on me. Do not mess with my kitchen. I cleaned up everything but one bowl of the inedible pasta dish that Midge left on the kitchen table all maggoty looking from the night before. I had thoughts of throwing it into her bed with her.

There was however this entire bowl of pasta that needed an edible sauce. Looking into the refrigerator there was the pound and a half of ground chuck that I had told them they could make hamburgers with. The plan was for them to have pizza and hamburgers, not inedible sauce. Midge did make pizza one night and her dog stole it. That it has not been a smooth week is a little understatement.

So I browned the meat and added some stewed tomatoes and went to get some sauces from the cupboard which was practically empty. I was shocked. I don't have a real pantry here but I have always kept cupboards of food, and kept them well stocked. Me, not have any tomato sauce? Unbelievable. Ok fine. I'd drag my tired carcass of a barely moving body to the store and then finish the sauce.
I could pick up some sour dough bread too and we would have a nice outdoor dinner tonight because the weather has been so pretty. I needed some things from the hardware store on the way, so might as well go.

Stopped at the hardware store and they had the most beautiful wind chimes I've ever heard. They are called "Corinthian Bells," beautiful. After all this fuss with the one I am making that might not sound like anything at all, I just bought it period. Take that Damn Ramsey. I will still finish my project, 2 wind chimes is not too many. After meandering around the hardware store, I moseyed on down to Kroger's and picked up a small load of groceries. When I pulled up to the house I noticed a strange smell. What was that weird odor?

Was someone having a barbecue in the morning?

Then I saw it.

My house was full of smoke.

It was bad.


Oh, God did I kill the dog, is the house on fire?

I obviously forgot to turn off the pot of meat and tomatoes. I also forgot everything I've ever learned about fire safety and barged into that smoke filled mess. Picking the pot up scared me to death. It was so hot sparks flew. My trusty wooden spoon was lying right next to the pot on the stove, wood for the fire. I carried the smoke machine to the back yard and grabbed the hose to put the smoldering mess out. Not to much longer and my house would have been up in flames. Now what to do about the smoke! Axel came out, thank God the dog hadn't been asphyxiated. First I opened up everything and turned on all the fans. Hoping not to hurt my lungs (asthma), but this is my home we are talking about. Then I called Jimmy and tearfully asked him to please hurry home and help me. I had really done most of it by then but I felt like a wreck.

The house stinks something awful, but it is here. I have those air purifiers from Ecoquest and they are working full blast to clean up the pollution I caused. Next time I am so tired that I can't see straight I am staying in bed. Trying to have a Pollyanna attitude about the day I thought, maybe the smoke killed the fruit flies. No deal. A couple are bugging me right now.
Needless to say, my smoke alarms need new batteries. However to finish the day on a good note after the hullabaloo died down and my nerves had recovered I did make a meatless sauce and we ate outside.

We had to eat outside if we wanted to eat. P.U.


Anonymous said...

Oh. My. Lord.

I was cracking up right up until I read the part about you coming home to a smoke filled house. Holy Cow!

Woman... you just had a Coffee Bean Day Deluxe! You can only have so many of those a year before you start wandering about in mismatched clothes talking to yourself in the grocery store with bed head. It's not pretty. Most definitely stay in your bed the next time round!

Debbie in CA : ) said...

YOWZAH! This was a scary post!!!! Dear friend, I praise the Lord you and all are OK!! We do have a Father in Heaven who keeps His eye on each and every one of us, don't we? SO GLAD it had a good ending with dinner al fresco. (Whew! I need to go rest my nerves.)

I'm laid up with a bum ankle. (Found a hole in the flower bed while I was chasing "bad" bugs with a bottle of sudsy water. Organic gardening can be dangerous!) I will probably send off a lengthy email tomorrow. We've got some catching up to do. (Maybe I'll just give you a ring on the tellyphone.)

farmlady said...

Ok! This was not a good day. Sometimes you have to listen to the little voice within and know that the best thing to do is stay in one place. When you have a crazy day and your dead tired it's a very bad combination. Please listen to yourself next time and take care of yourself.Life is short. Eat outside and have dessert first.

noble pig said...

OMG that's are so lucky it all turned out alright. The only time I caused a fire in the kitchen was when exhaustion was playing a role. Don't cook tired is a good rule of thumb!

Becky said...

I am so glad you are OK. And that your house is still standing although stinky. I'm sending you hugs and yes my giveaway involves chocolate. Sounds like you could use it about now.

Angela said...

WOW...thank goodness, like you said you make it home just in time..How freaky..AND especially after all that cleaning..CRIPE!!! lol....

I forced myself last night to do the kitchen, than crawled back into bed because I felt like crappie...When hubby asked what was wrong with me I said,'this work horse is sick'...'get a job'

Heidi said...

SO glad that it didnt get worse. God is good and takes care of us dont he! :)

MaBunny said...

Thank goodness it didn't turn out worse! Glad you still got to have your dinner al fresco style!
Hope you have a great weekend!

Laura ~Peach~ said...

thank god you are all ok and the house did not catch fire...

imbeingheldhostage said...

holycow woman!!!!!

How scary, I am sooooo glad everything is alright. Next time your kitchen is a mess, call me over-- I'll clean it for you, you don't have to burn it down for Pete's sake.
You should post a photo of that pan.

Unknown said...

The alternative of staying in bed all day sounds like it would have been a good idea after all.

I'm so glad everyone is ok. That was quite a scare.

Kathy said...

scared me half to death reading this, although I knew all would turn out OK since I read today's post first. Get some sleep super woman!

Trudy said...

Oh MAN! Or WOMAN!! I'm am so aorry--what a mess.